INTRODUCTION
“Love… Is that even possible? For a guy like me… it’s not even in my vocabulary.”
For him, it was just a fetish play, a thing that ruins everything.
It never made him happy, not even once.
The only thing that makes his life worth living is to pleasure his self using random people; Sex.
“It’s just a stupid crap that makes every innocent hearts crumpled and torn.”
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Since young, he never felt nor received love. At the age of 7, his parents separated. His father left them for loving someone else. There’s no one who supported him. The only thing her mother does was that make herself believe that his father would come back again. It was only Siwon, his mother’s brother, his uncle, who was the only one to take care and treasure him the most.
No one seemed to notice him.
No one seemed to care.
No one knew what he’s feeling.
No one knew he was dying.
He never wanted to be given acknowledgements
He never wanted to feel loved.
“It’s pointless to feel being loved and to love someone because I know…time won’t spare me.”
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Yet love finds its way, to make some spark out of corpse man’s heart.
Leads him to a woman whom he did not know he would love the most.
“But how can I make this forever if I can’t even make it exist?”
There’s no limit loving someone, there’s no obstacle if you have faith. Though land and heaven are extremely unrelated, I know love will lead the way, to make you and I stay.
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FOREWORD
“Leave me alone!” Kyuhyun yelled throwing the last bottle of alcohol in his right hand. “Leave me alone for God’s sake!”
His hand was profusely bleeding. Sheers of glass was embedded into it.
Seohyun ran towards him and grabbed his bleeding hand. She tried to pick the pieces of glass on his palms but then failed when he threw her aside harshly.
“I told you to leave me alone! What language do I need to speak just for you to understand what I am saying?! Leave Me Alone!!” his voice was more fierceful this time, and his eyes blazes with fire.
She spoke out of a blue, “Why do you make a fool out of me Kyuhyun?Huh?” her eyes started to let out tears. Her voice trembling with pain, “Why do you keep on rejecting people who tries to love you?”
“Love? Does that even exist? I don’t know if you’re just one of the naïve’s out of it.” He chuckled a bit and faced her composing his body to her level.
“No one….. No one Seohyun…..There’s no one in this world even tried to love me.” His hands grasped her shoulders tightly with his eyes focused on hers. “That word isn’t inside my vocabulary.”
He let go of her bragging her body unto the ground. His feet started to move out until she sobbed hard and stood to call him out.
“Why do you have to push me away? Don’t you know how hard it is for me to feel this way?” she ran unto him and hugged him from his back.
“I.. Love you so much! I love you that I can’t even let myself not to be around you!”
“Stop it.” He tried to release her arms around his but it was too hard for him for he feels his body weakened under her touch.
Both of them were silent, still at their same position as minutes before.
“Don’t tell me that you love me….you’re….you’re just going to regret it… afterwards.” Says Kyuhyun. He closed his eyes with the tears flowing beneath his cheeks. He cannot endure it anymore, he cannot pretend not to love her anymore.
“I will never regret this Kyuhyun” says Seohyun back tightening her arms on his waist.
“Wou…Would you love….would you still….would you still love me… if I tell you one thing?” he asked with his voice shaking and faced her in an immediate. He held her hands and pressed it unto his lips, tears began to flow much harder, his feelings began to expose.
She didn’t mouth a thing, instead looked into his face solemnly.
His body fell in the ground in a sudden, still holding her hands that made her fall beside him.
He cried his heart out. Finally, he found a moment to let out all his sufferings stuck inside him for 13 years.
“I…I have a tumor in my lungs….Seohyun..”
She gasped with disbelief and held his chin to face her. “You’re k-kidding..r-r-right..?”
“I am dying… Seohyun…” the word ‘dying’ made him burst into tears more. His heart was thumping harder his chest heated up.
“You’re not going to die!” Seohyun embraced him, pushing his body unto her. “No..never!”
“I’m dying.. I’m dying… I’m dying and it’s not gonna—“
She stopped him with her lips, urging unto his. As if she tries to mend his yearning by a deep kiss coming from her.
“You’re not going to die… I promise you that.” She said,”I love you..just always remember that.”
“I love you too.”
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