I'll look and you and lie to you and tell you that I'll always be here for you, and try hard to act like it's true
Even though I know it's not I still can hope that you will not recognise the cracks in my sentences and all the things I could say to reassure you
But I don't because I know I'm one to contradict myself, and tell people I need them just to completely lose them
But I don't want you to feel alone for too long, and I don't want to be alone anymore
Wishing for something that will never happen and feeling my heart grow sore
It's a selfish habit but I only tend to drift back to you when I feel I need something to distract myself from my feelings
That make my mind an unsafe place for me to dwell
So I replace it with something else, and that person is always you
And you don't realise this but if you do then you either don't care because you care about me enough to not want me to self destruct
Or your just doing the same thing as me
Searching for something you can't see, and when you reach a dead end you run down the only path you know
And it will lead you back to me
This stressed, messed up relationship is not a product of my love it's a product of our selfishness and desire to be needed
And I know you will never need me but at least you can pretend to and for now that's good enough
Until someone can look me in the eyes and tell me the things you tell me and I feel the same
But until then I will never stop bouncing back into the safety of your words
The safety of knowing if you said goodbye first I wouldn't feel hurt
Because I don't love you
And I don't need you
But I need to be loved and needed.
