Rubric's Cube

Chapter 7 Preparing for the police

After a  restless night I woke early. The day was Cornish  grey mist outside, as I watched Mark in green waterproofs and wellingtons feeding his stock in the drizzle. This must be the downside of farming, I thought. The relentless daily demands of the animals for feed and husbandry, and tilling the soil for the crops, and ultimately their harvesting, whatever the weather, however he felt.

I looked in the mirror while shaving. My grim visage didn't inspire confidence, as my worries corkscrewed through my brain.

I made for the kitchen. Olivia was setting out crockery for breakfast at the table.

"'Morning," I said.

"Hungry?"

"Not really Olivia. Coffee would be nice."

"I've got fresh eggs and local bacon."

"I'm sure Mark and Anne would do justice to your food. Where is Anne? Is she a sleepyhead?"

"No she's helping Mark. But I don't think any of us are feeling hungry. We talked after you went to bed," she sighed,"I ask myself, where did we go wrong with Beth?"

My mind made a somersault to concentrate on Olivia's problems, rather than on those of the man in the mirror.

"I think sexual preferences have more to do with the way we're built than what our parents do to us - except in severe cases of abuse. And I'm sure you've nothing to reproach yourselves for on that score."

"Maybe you're right, but from what you and Anne said, nothing good is going to come from her relationship with Constanza. She seems such an unlikely source of love and care."

"That makes it doubly important to support and love Beth, because if, and when it goes belly up she'll need all three of you."

"You said that last night."

"And I still don't think I'm wrong."

"Sorry, Jason, here I am fussing about my problem and ignoring your worries. What are your plans?"

"I'd like to mull over my thoughts with Mark and you and if she has the patience Anne, and then I'll start for Rugby. I've got to get to grips with my situation. Whatever that is."

"You're welcome to stay longer."

"That's sweet of you, but I can't stay under the duvet away from it all. The difficulties won't dissolve in a Cornish mist. Huh - even assisted by whisky."

I heard the other two come into the lobby stamping feet and hanging up coats, and they entered the kitchen.

"Jesus," exclaimed Mark,"it's like bloody winter out there. Let's have some coffee love."

Anne asked,"How are you, Jason?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't look it. You look as though something nasty's caught up with you."

"I think it has. And I need to face it."

"Let's get breakfast over and then we'll have a talk together," said Mark, " don't start cooking anything Olivia, just stick some bread in the toaster and we'll have coffee."

"That' ll do me too, Mum."

Later we settled in front of a comforting wood fire in the farmhouse sitting room.

Mark said,"Thanks for the wood cutting, Jason. Looks like we'll be burning a fire earlier than usual."

"It's little enough I could do to repay you."

"We're here to help," said," Olivia, "So tell us what your thoughts are, and we'll try our best for you."

I sighed, "You're all so kind. Well the way I see it, the emotional side - the loss of Ellen and what flows from that - there's only me can deal with that, so I'll park it for now. Likewise money matters, I just have to sell some expensive assets, and the rest should sort itself out in time. So I'll park that too for today."