you are you

it is

it is reasonable and it is rational and it does make sense but we dont know how it feels. we try to, for you, but it will never work and i know that and im sorry we're useless
ur not alone though, u never were
ur alone only when u think you are. u always had and always will have people beside you that will try to understand. that want to listen and cry with you and feel your pain. even if they wont
and you are not heartless .i know that
i know that you feel guilt and pressure wand that u scold urself for that thing
but it existing in ur life isnt what defines u no matter what anyone says over and over again. you aren't the bitch that did that even if you say it to yourself. you are you. a wonderful person that makes mistakes like everyone else. a wonderful person. a person. this is what defines u. and you're gonna get through this.
no, im not going thru what you're going through and i dont feel your pain and i dont live ur life, but everyone has had problems in their lives that they thought for sure would be the end of them. you will get out of this . it is painful and it will continue being so until it ends but it will end.
everyting is painful in the beginning. and hard. and suffocating. but you have people around you that want to help. that want to help you breathe and make it easier for you. that want to hold your hand and walk you through this. these people are always there. always will be.
you're not going to lose yourself . you have a strong heart filled with love and empathy and kindness and feelings and you will never lose yourself.
you'll think you lost urself and that you're no more, but you will always be you. no matter what you do in life. your mistakes dont define you. your heart does. w you have the most beautiful heart.
even when you feel likecrap you are not. you are not.
you. are. not.
and i am going to keep telling you this over and over because it's the truth. you dont feel like shit. they make you feel like shit. there is a big difference and never get these two things mixed up because you are not shit.
you are a wonderful human being with feelings and thoughts and deep philosophies and a big big big heart and you are you.you felt this horror because u wanted to live. because you love yourself and you wanted to breathe and you didn't want to be doing that and that's okay.no one wants to be alone.
dont lie to yourself.
you want someone to hug you and understand you and cry for you and have their heart ache for you. you want someone that loves you from the bottom of their heart to be around you and wrap you with their heart and take you awayand that's okayit's not weak.it's humanand im so fucking sorry that i cant do all of that for you
that i cant understand you and drown your misery with you and be beside you