Before you let go

Chapter two: Hello my old heart

As I lay down on my bed I began to think about all the distant yet vivid memories of me and Tyler. He should be coming over in a couple of minutes and I would be lying if I said I wasn't going to be happy to see him. I really shouldn't be happy to see him though I mean I am going to get a divorce from him. How ever the more I realize how real this divorce is and that my future child is going to have to live in separate homes it makes my stomach turn. I wish he would get here already all this second guessing and pregnancy hormones is really clouding my judgement. Unfortunately it's just like him lately to avoid seeing or speaking to me. The only recent time we saw eachother was at my doctor appointment. There we finally picked a date on when to fill out our divorce papers. It took so long because of custody and property issues in the documents. That's when I heard the door bell ring, I slowly lift myself off my bed and went down stairs to accept the fact that I would be a divorce single mother. I opened the door to see a polished and clean looking Tyler. His hazel eyes glistening from the sun beaming down  around him almost making him look like a angel. "Hi" I said weakly unable to think because I was to busy staring at his lips. But it was more than his lips he was different than how he usually is. It was like I was looking at the person I fell in love with for the very first time. And yet somehow what I was seeing was a distant memory. Someone who's heart only use to beat for me now just a old memories and broken promises. "Hey so you going invite me in?" Tyler said piecing his eyes into mine almost daring me to ruin everything we had with one paper. To have our future child have stability issues all in one look. "Yeah right come in" I said weakly smiling trying to not to get to emotional. "So where are the paper's?" "Can you just give me a minute" I said feeling like the room was about to spin. "Why is the baby ok?" He said pressing his hand against my belly in a protecting fashion. "The baby fine it's me who's not ok. I mean I never thought I would ever get a divorce before and now I have to worry about somebody else's life soon. I'm already messing up our child life and she's still in my womb" I said crying and burying my face in my hands. "Hey don't say that your going to be a great mother Rosie" Tyler said wrapping his arms around me. That only made the tears fall more from my eyes. "We were innocent once we may have been young and sacred but what we had was real. How could this happen this wasn't suppose to be are happy ending. We were suppose to grow old and wrinkly together watching our grandchildren play in are backyard. We were suppose to carve our initials in that tree in the backyard. And now look at us we getting a divorce and eventually you and I will move on. If I couldn't be a good wife than what will make me a good mother?" I said crying uncontrollably. I saw the tears in Tyler eyes and he held me tighter he knew what I said was true. "Listen to me yes I know we didn't work out and should have done so many things. But just because we didn't work out doesn't mean you are going to be a horrible mother. You will be a great mother and I'm happy to have the mother of my child to be you. Because I know you are going to love and cherish her." He gave me the piecing eye stare but only this time it wasn't about our divorce it was about our child. He wanted me to take a risk and be a good mother but for some reason I felt he not only wanted me to take a chance with our baby but with him as well