Hold On » Book 1

Chapter Three

They say fight your own demons. How am I supposed to fight myself?

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Knowing once I step foot in that house, everything it's going to go back to the way it was. Even if the lights are off. I wonder what is going to happen this ti...

'Hey Sav, are you coming or what?' my brother yelled for me, disturbing me from my train of thought. I see him standing halfway from the car and the house. 

'Yeah,' I say dully. Each step I take I can feel my faith catching up to me. Standing in front of the door I take a deep breath. The door wide open, I reluctantly bring myself to step into the house. Knowing something is going to happen. Thinking that the lights will turn on and be sitting there is my father, with a beer bottle ready to throw at my head. I walk in. Nothing. No father sitting there with a beer bottle.

'Sav, what's wrong?' Liam asked with worry written all over his face. I don't know what to say to that. It's hard to answer the question "what;s wrong?" when nothing is right. Contemplating on whether to tell him or not. I know what you would be thinking, Would he know what's going on. Well, the answer is no, he doesn't. Our father is always a loving care man around his son. But when Liam isn't around that is when the true him comes out. 

'Umm... yeah. Why would I be?' I whispered sadly looking at the ground. I know that he wouldn't notice considering that he is engulfed on his phone. I walk up stairs to my room.  Closing the bed room door behind me, I let out a sigh of relief. Something drops onto the floor, making me stiffen. With that, I had a feeling who it might be. I didn't want to turn my lights on, or any lights for that matter. 

'Dear everyone,' a deep scary voice starts talking. 'One day you're going to find me lying there, not breathing. Or you will receive a phone call. Or you'll hear it on the news, maybe the principal will arrange an assembly.' it growls. Those words sound so familiar. Where did they come from? Wait it was from a letter I wrote, Shit. I am dead for real. The lights turn on. There right in front of me was the man who hates me, more like despises- me. Looking into his eyes I can see the anger and the drunkness in them.

He takes a step closer to me causing me to close my eyes. I try and brace myself for with is waiting to come. He slaps me across the face, causing the sound to echo throughout the room. Then another one, but this time on the other cheek. Then a hell of a powerful punch to my stomach, making me fall to the ground. Feeling a hand grab onto my hair, yanking it back so I can look into his now dark cloudy eyes. Putting me up by the hair, making me stand out once again. Taking me over to my bed and pushing me onto it. I see his hands reach down to his belt, I take that time to try and run. But, before I could get off the bed be grabs me by the throat and throws me back down on the bed. I feel tears threaten to appear. I hear a zipper being pulled down. Knowing what was going to happen in the next is scaring me. I would have never thought that this man was capable of doing something like this. But I guess you don't know anyone at all including your family. I hand starts to pull down my pants, trying to fight back the tears and trying to brace myself for what is coming next. I feel him inside me. Causing the tears to fall down like a waterfall. He goes in harder and fast making me scream out in pain. The door opens. My mother is standing there looking the scene in front of her. 

'Richard, please stop you are hurting her,' she says innocently. Not a word from him. All he does is ignore her. 'Richard, I said that it enough!' she raises her voice. He stops his mid way and looks over at my mother.

'Linda, this is was she deserves. And if you don't shut up this is going to be you!' he threatens her while pointing at me. All my mother does it step back a bit and stands there watching what he husband is doing to me. Me his daughter. No father in his right mind would ever do this to their child. After what felt like years he pulls out and puts on his pants back on. Like nothing even happened, leaving me there all broken. Putting my pants back on I feel the pain rushing through my body like water flowing down a river. Walking into my bathroom I stand there looking at the mirror. Seeing a girl who is broken, but no one knows it. Tears threating to crawl out. Fear of not being able to feel safe in a place which you thought you could be. The thing is we are not safe anywhere. There in front of me is a girl who is dying on the inside but smiling on the out. Keeping the secret will be the death of her. She is afraid of life more than death. She can't even look at another man, let alone be a meter away from them now; with the event which occurred tonight. 

I tear my eyes from my reflection and turn the tap on. Letting it run for a few seconds before cupping my hands and letting the water fill in them. Bring my face and hands close to my face splashing the water onto my face, trying to wash away my problems and pain. A loud knock on the door causing me to split my hands apart letting the water flow freely in the sink. Whipping my hand on my shirt and walk over to the door. Opening it a crack to see who it was, to be pushed to the ground with the amount of force was given off from the other side. 

'You won't believe what just happened!' Liam explodes and sits on the bench top. Not even acknowledging the fact that I am still on the floor, being too weak to get up  'I just found out that... wait. What the hell are you doing on the floor? You okay?' he finally acknowledging me.

'You know, The floor looked really comfy so I thought I would give my legs a bit of a rest. And yeah I am okay why wouldn't I be?' I question him back.

'Okay okay, no need to be all sassy with me. Well, one I hear you scream before. I would have come up to see what was wrong but Ruby was over. Secondly, your face looks swollen.' he states like he was a genius.

'Well I could have been watching a scary movie or show and it scared me to death. Secondly, I think I am coming down with something.' I prayed hoping he would buy it. 'So, anyway, what were going to tell me?' I asked raising an eyebrow.

'You know how Ruby and I were dating?' he says. 'I found out that she was cheating on me with, Hunter. Then get this right, she comes over and tried to fix this with me. I was like bitch get away from me, we are done... over. Now please leave,' he grunted. With that, he walked out. I walked over to my bed and tried to sleep. But every time I try I remember the horror from ealier. 

***

It's okay to be scared, but don't let that fear overpower your mind and control you.