Loving You

4. Secrets

Kat's POV

I'm freaking out. I can't find my journal! It's not in my room, or suitcase, and it's not in Rosie's. Don't get me wrong, it's not like a diary with all of my secrets or anything. There is only one secret in there, and it happens to be my biggest secret of all time. Only Rosie and my parents know it, and they don't know that I wrote it down. I threw my hands up in the air in frustration when someone came in. Oh great. Liam.

"Hey Kat, I wanted to say I'm-" he said but he stopped talking when he saw my arm. He looked worried, scared, and concerned. "What's that?" he pointed to a red line on my upper arm. Crap. I forgot I rolled up my sleeves to look for my journal. I've always worn at least mid length sleeves, trying to hide it. It always worked too. Until now.

"What's what?" I asked trying to play it dumb. I can't tell him my past, I just can't, everything will be awkward. Or should I say even more awkward, after I hurt him.

"That scar on your arm, did you self harm?!"

Why would he think I'd self harm?

"That is not your business, now please say what you were going to say and move on," I said.

"I was going to say I'm sorry for calling you that, but I just don't think of you as a Kat," Really? Why must he be so difficult?!

"Ugggh, fine, you can call me Kate, or even Katie, but not Mary-Kaitlin. I can't stand that name anymore, I used to be fine with it. but not anymore," I looked down. "Now if that is all you have to say, I was looking for something, and you interupted me,"

"I can help you look if you want?"

"No thanks, what I'm looking for is a secret,"

"Oh, ok." He walked out, looking, sad?

When the door closed, I looked under the bed, and finally I found my journal. I looked inside of it and all of my songs I wrote, and my past was in here. I am sooo relieved. I thought I lost it.

I started to think about my past, but tried my hardest not to. I couldn't help it, I let some of it slip.

*flashback*

"Come on Mary-Kaitlin, what's with you? You always try new things," His breath smelled so nasty it made me cough.

"Go away, Blake! Leave her alone!" I heard Rosie scream at him a few feet away.

"Shut up! This is none of your business!" he snapped. I couldn't tell him off because he smashed his lips to mine. I tried to scream but when I opened my mouth he took that as a sign to shove his tongue in. I finally kneed him where the sun don't shine and he backed away angrily.

"What the-" I kicked his shin before he could say anything else.

"Shut up Blake! We're through!" I screamed. He was about to say someting, but Rosie tackled him. He was strong though, and he pushed her off and slapped her.

"Ow!" She screamed in Payne (:P). I am soo regretting saying yes to him when he asked for me and Rosie to come to this party. The music was so loud that no one could here us.

While Rosie was holding her cheek, he grabbed me and dragged me to a bedroom.

*flashback ends*

I shivered thinking about that first night of my horrible past. Then I thought about Liam. Why did he want to be so helpful? I hurt him. Actually I have never felt so sorry for what I did before. I hope he doesn't hate me, but he probably does.

I looked at my guitar case and then looked at my journal. I think I'm gonna start to write another song.

I picked up my guitar and started playing a few chords. I write songs backwards, I think of the music, and then the lyrics. I started off by singing and playing one of my favorite songs. The A Team by Ed Sheeren. I can always relate to this song.

White Lips, pale face,

Breathing in the snowflakes,

burnt lungs, sour taste.

Lights gone days end,

struggling to pay rent

long nights, strange man

And they say,

shes in the class A team

stuck in her daydream

been this way since eighteen

but lately her face seems

slowly sinking, wasting

crumbling like pastries

and they scream,

the worst things in life, come free to us

cause we're just, under the upper hand

and go mad for a couple grams.

I finished the song and cried a little. When did my life get this screwed?

~Liam's POV~

I was walking through the hall, and I heard someone singing. It was beautiful, and it seemed to be coming from Kat's room. I looked inside and Kat was playing the guitar and singing The A Team by Ed Sheeren. She didn't seem to notice me, so I stayed there. I wanted to say something, but I don't want her to stop singing.

When she finished the song she started crying. She looked so fragile, like the slightest touch will break her. She looked up sniffling and saw me. She looked at me, but didn't tell me to go away. She looked back down and shuddered. I wanted to hug her, she looked beautiful, even when she was crying.

I walked over and when I sat next to her on her bed, she tensed up a little. She was about to say something, but I didn't let her.

"Sh, you don't have to tell me what's wrong, just don't shut me out," I wanted her to tell me, but I didn't want to pressure her. I wanted her to feel welcome. She was only here for a few hours, and she is already crying.

"No, no I'm not trying to shut you out, I just didn't exactly have a happy-go-lucky childhood," There were so many things going through my head right now. Did she have abusive parents? Was she an orphan? Then the next thing she said was not what I was planning to hear.

"My father was abusive."

Little did I know that was only the beginning.

~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hi guys! Well first of all, I hope you love this chapter, because this was OVER 1000 WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!! That is the longest chapter I have ever written! Oh and a hot dog is when lift up your knee hard right in front of a boys no no area.

Vote if you loved how her past was partially revealed

Comment if you think Ed Sheeren is like a God!!!!

1125 words to be exact.

:):):):):):)