Fingertips Trace His Spine

f i v e

As required, Zayn enters his literature class and takes a seat in the front, surprisingly. Considering that the class is sort of like an arena, where the tables are pushed agains the wall and students face across from each other, rather than the white board, Zayn considers that it technically isn't the front.

"Morning class! Today we'll be doing popcorn reading for one of the narrative assignments in our books. It's draws into our typical unit of tragedy as we've been focusing on play writes." Zayn wonders if their teacher always explains the class or if she's intentionally informing, for Zayn's sake.

Zayn slouches on his seat, covering his mouth to laugh at the fact that this is the second semester and he doesn't even recognize these faces anymore since he barely shows up at least one every other week for the last two months.

There's a brief warm up that they do where they're copying down the day's vocabulary word though Zayn doesn't copy it down since he's missed out on too many days.

A test probably come up soon and he's considering on asking Harry for help with that too, but since he's in class he will do nothing to participate.

"Books out. Page fifty two." Ms. Landis states, at least, Zayn's sure that is their teacher's name. It is, he tells himself, I should know that.

Once again, as mentioned to Harry yesterday, he doesn't have his book with him. The benefits coming out of this is that he won't have to participate in popcorn reading.

However, it's like Ms. Landis is eyeing him the whole time because just before he can put his backpack on his desk to rest his head, his teacher hands him a book, "I've always got two or three. Never be afraid to ask, students."

Zayn scolds himself, thinking how teachers are just too helpful, no matter how bad of a student you are, they still care. Zayn doesn't want the book on his desk, that's strictly why he did not bother to 'read off a partner' especially, not ask for a book.

"Any takers to start us off?" Ms. Landis peppy voice is starting to aggravate him now, too cheerful as if teaching to some middle class income district is the best thing a person can do.

A student is chosen by volunteering and Zayn chuckles to himself wondering why students would make themselves vulnerable like this. But the moment he hears the reader's voice, he tenses and allows his hearing to accept it.

Zayn doesn't follow or pay attention to the words, rather once again, listening to the way Harry's voice echoes out, slow and drawl. Breathing in a bit after every sentence, and having a fair split second between them.

When he looks up, he watches Harry's concentration as he licks his lips just before finishing his paragraph. The two make eye contact and Zayn keeps a steady expression meanwhile Harry has a bright smile.

"Zayn." Harry says, making Zayn oblivious. Why did Harry just call my name out like that during class? Isn't that kinda rude to do?

"Yeah?" Zayn mumbles, eyes still fixated on Harry who's using his finger to raise his glasses onto his nose more comfortably.

"This is popcorn reading, Zayn. It's when you read after the next person but in this class, if you have someone in mind, you can call on them to read. Harry chose you. More people participate this way when you're called on by your friends." Ms. Landis explains.

"I can't." Zayn simply says, before Ms. Landis can open her mouth to speak, he continues, "I don't have a book─ oh fuck. You just gave me one. Damn it. Can't escape this, can I?" Zayn's humor isn't easing his teacher at all.

"Zayn." His teachers voice is stern and earning. It makes Zayn flinch a little and start to pick up his book, going back to the page they were suppose to be on.

A heavy sigh escapes his throat, making it a little dry now. It's probably a good excuse to avoid reading but he isn't that disrespectful to disobey so determinedly, so he says,  "Yeah. Sorry. What paragraph now?"

Once his teacher offers the book page and his paragraph that's about six sentences, Zayn dramatically clears his throat. There are slight nerves of reading in public and out loud, yet he'll give it a go because if he remembers one thing, his mom doesn't like when he doesn't try.

"Re-reputation... is an idle?─ Idle? The hell, alright─ and most false, um, imposition. Oft got without merit, and l-lost with-without deserving." Zayn's reading goes on within the six sentences, feeling his cheeks heat up as if someone's put a hot metal pan against it.

The second he's done, he places his book down and excused himself, attention all toward him since he has to walk right in the middle of the class, in the middle of all his classmates.

And Harry. That embarrasses him most.

Zayn slouches against the wall of his classroom, slowly allowing his back to slide down to the point where he's sitting and his knees are close to his chest.

This doesn't happen. He never lets himself seem weak, he never puts himself down. But right now he feels pathetic, humiliated, and incompetent.

Zayn takes a deep breath before allowing himself to get back up and enter the classroom, despite knowing that he'll be causing a scene. He does it anyways.

When he's in class, he remains silent and hope nobody decides to call on him again, but while he's here he actually tried to understand the passage to distract him from these negative thoughts about himself.

It's sort of understandable, and enjoyable. At least better than the awful thoughts that replay in his mind, better than thinking about how stupid and weak he seemed when reading in front of twenty six classmates and his teacher.

The moment the bell rings, Zayn is the first go exit but he doesn't leave the premises, instead he stands there as students walk pass him. He ignores those that shove pass him accidentally, shrugging it off with an alright.

But once he sees Harry, things aren't just, alright. Zayn takes his chance as Harry is caught off guard. A hand wraps around his neck and shoves him against the classroom door, "You're my tutor. Not someone who pries into my academic life."

"I don't need to read in front of a whole damn class in order to learn. My education is private and if you can't accept that I need to find a new tutor." Zayn hums as he's inches away from Harry, staring deep into his eyes with threat.

Zayn pulls away before Harry could respond and sets off to his next class, which he realizes is with Harry again. He hesitates, thinking if he should walk with Harry but avoids to acknowledge that thought.

On his own, just how he likes it.

─

I'm not exaggerating Zayn's reading in this.
In sophomore year reading Romeo and Juliet, my crush per say, read like this. It was so awfully slow, and stuttered, but he was smart if he really tried. His reading was just sadly awful. He tried, he tries, and it's good enough.

Like Zayn in here. He won't be a fucking asshole, jock who punches walls when he can't learn. He'll try to succeed.

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