You're My Saviour // Chansoo Park Two

Chapter Fifteen

I stumble into my apartment, Luhan following behind with Baekhyun beside him. Even the slightest look of my bedroom makes me feel sick in the stomach...

"I-I might sleep on the..the couch..." I stutter and Luhan rubs my shoulder gently before pulling me into a gentle hug.

"Okay." He replies softly.

"Y-You and Baekhyun...share the room okay?" I tell him and he nods. I lift an arm up to hug him but it just falls back down to my side, I have no strength...none at all.

When Luhan lets go of me he gives me a small smile however I can't even give out a smile. Part of me has gone and I can't get it back. My heart is filled with sadness, trauma and...nothing...

"I'll stay up with you for a little bit Chanyeol." Baekhyun tells me before going off into the bedroom. I ask Luhan to get me some sleep wear from my room which he does without hesitance and I make my way to the bathroom.

Remember the first time you invited Kyungsoo to yours Chanyeol, he used the same towel that you just picked up.

I stare at the soft white towel in my hands before hugging it to my chest. A sigh escapes my lips as I move one hand to turn the shower on. The water coming out filling the bathroom with a calm sound, the sound mixing with the rain outside...

I put the towel down and remove myself from my clothes before stepping into the shower, the hot water hitting my cold skin. I shut my eyes and submerge my head under the shower water, it dripping all down my hair, face, continuing over my body. Everything inside of me relaxes and my eyes build up and release the tears I've been holding back.

I silently sob under the water as it takes away all marks from my face. The existence of my tears being washed away just like the one I'm crying about. I miss you.

I wash myself and try to enjoy the water warming me up but it's no use, I can't shake this sadness.

Once I get out the shower I dry myself with the towel, drying my hair until it's a wavy, curly mess and slipping into my sleep wear. I leave the towel to dry by the heater before leaving the bathroom to find Luhan making up a bed on the couch.

He gives me a smile as he looks up to see me the other side of the couch, "You helped me last time so I'll help you." He tells me and I feel a small smile rise to my cheeks.

"Thank you." I say and I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see Baekhyun in some of my other clothes.

"I hope you don't mind me borrowing your clothes..." Baekhyun asks rubbing his eyes and I shake my head.

"I-Its okay." I reply and Baekhyun rests his head on my shoulder. We both return a glance to Luhan.

"This reminds me of a photo Minseok once shown me. It was of you Chanyeol and a boy with red hair, standing in this exact same way." Luhan chuckles and I peer to the floor.

"That was also Baekhyun." I murmur and Luhan rubs his head.

"Oh...I'm an idiot for not realizing." Luhan laughs nervously, "I'm going off to bed." He gives a small wave before walking off and Baekhyun chases after him. I sit down on the couch and lean on my knees with a sigh. I miss you still.

I don't know what I'm going to do without him...It's like I can't have both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo around me. When Kyungsoo was with me, Baekhyun wasn't the same. Now I have Baekhyun back, Kyungsoo has gone....just like he never existed.

"Chanyeol..." A voice mutters and I peer to my side to see Baekhyun looking particularly worried, "How are you doing?" He asks me sliding an arm around mine as I sit back.

"I...I don't know...I just...miss him I guess..." I reply, everything muddled up as I can't even make a sentence with what I just thought.

"What are you thinking?" He asks me.

"Nothing really." I lie, "There's nothing to think about anymore...other than loss." I say to him and Baekhyun frowns slightly before pulling a vintage dark brown box onto his lap. It's very familiar....it's mine...?

"I...found this by your wardrobe under a few boxes and it looked oddly familiar...then I opened it...and understood why." Baekhyun tells me. I turn to him as he opens the box I haven't looked in for years. It's just been there in my room, wherever I move to, It's always been with me I just never looked inside, not until now.

Inside is a lot of polaroid photos, notes, a diary and other random things. Baekhyuns fingers wrap around a small carousel type music box, that fits in the palm of his hand, he seems to be confused by it at first, but something in his head clicks and he stares at it in amazement.

"This was my mothers." Baekhyun mutters before twisting the handle to tune it up and letting it play. The horse in the middle starts to move up and down just like they would in a carousel. It plays a sweet sounding lullaby, Baekhyun's eyes fully en-tranced in the movement of the box.

"You remember that then?" I ask him and he nods.

"I remember the sound..." He replies in a mumble, "Where is my parents?" He asks me turning to face me, his eyes currently glowing with some sort of happiness that he has remembered.

"Erm..." My eyes widen slightly as I sit up directly next to him, "T-Tao...didn't let them survive...I'm pretty sure it was him...because...they got murdered...after your disappearance. You dont remember telling me about that do you.."

Baekhyuns small smile fades and he stares at me for a second, frozen before shaking his head quickly. His hand tightens around the musical object and his eyes start to fill up, "..So...I'll never see them again..?" He stutters and I pull an arm around him, his body instantly falling against my chest.

"I'm sorry Baek..."

"I didn't want to disappear! It wasn't my fault!" Baekhyun sniffs, "It's my fault they are dead!" Baekhyun starts to cry and I hug him tightly against me.

"I guess we all lose people eh..." I mutter and Baekhyun nods against my chest.

"But at least I've still got you..." Baekhyun replies and a lump forms in my throat, of course he's still got me but...he can't expect me to love him again...

"Yes you have, you were my best friend Baek." I tell him and Baekhyun sits up wiping his tears away and giving me a small smile. "I'll...move on.." Baekhyun starts, "Now lets look through the rest of this."

He turns to the box and I look over him, he's still filled with sadness and guilt...even though he shouldn't be guilty for anything. I know how he feels, to lose a loved one, especially if they mean the world to you...

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Hey I'm back, again sorry for the slow updates, I'm currently doing exams and stuff so I'm going to be quite slow at updating everything for the next few months.

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- Darcii