The Girl Archives.

Fog.

I'm old enough to know the difference between wrong and right, I'm also old enough to know that what you did was wrong but what I did wasn't right. I'm old enough to take into account that I love you too much t watch you walk away but at the same time I know that watching you walk away I'd probably the best thing for me, I need to feel pain in watching you walk away because then maybe I'd stop feeling pain every time I see you because I would know that was your next move.
But maybe at the same time, watching you leave would be the worst thing because I'm so used to you not being around and I'm so sorry for calling you out on this but you've done nothing to show me you love me, but at the same time, you came to me every time something went wrong declaring your love for me. I know that believing these drunken words would only hurt me more and I'm slowly beginning to fall out of love with you. And then i see you again and you fuck me over. You're fucking me over when I haven't seen you for months. Suddenly, I can't walk past places I would walk past everyday without thinking about you. I can't walk up my own fucking street without thinking of that morning I came to fucking get you. It's the worst when there's fog everywhere and because it becomes and exact replica of that morning. I hate that I can't forget you, but I love that I can't hate you, losing you would be the worst thing I've ever felt, but little do I know I've already lost you, I lost you years ago but I guess I'm just in denial, but my heart is still in love with the idea of you. I'm so sorry.