F.A.I.L.

I.

I still remember the times when I used to play duktor-duktoran, kagaya ng mga batang to na nasa harap ko ngayon. Shet. Parang kelan lang, tapos ngayon nagmemedtech na ako.
Uhhh, wait lang. Parang may mali ata sa sinabi ko.
Ulit nga,
*ehem ehem*
Parang kelan nga, pero hanggang ngayon ay nagmemedtech paren ako.

As my mp3's battery ran out empty, I picked up the pen and notebook, para lang malibang. Masusukat't mahihilo lang kase ako kapag manahimik lang buong biyahe pa-Samar. Wala naman akong magagawa kundi umupo buong araw sa bus, pero okay lang, just for one day lang naman. After non makakauwi naman ako, so konting tiis kang bes.

Its summertime. A season in the sun wherein there is nothing to think much of, but plans of what to do and where to go. Its about your fam to go to the beach to relax and unwind, its about seeing your homies not seen for a long time, having reunion with the alumni batch and especially to look after summer girls bathing under the sun.

Ako si Charles Tan, 21 years old, male, and its complicated. And when I say its complicated, its not about the love of my life, geez. Im feeling like I'm too old for that right now, but when I say its complicated, I'm talking about my whole life. Ang hirap pala maging unico hijo ng family, and sa aming magkakapatid ako pa ang bunso. So, restricted na nga at some points kase lalake, then double restriction pa kase yung pinaka "baby". I can't get away through things I wanted for I'm under my sib's covers. But anyways, lalake ako eh. So it's a part of me to raise my pride up. Wala silang magagawa kung gawin ko yung gusto ko, whether its good or bad. But syempre, my biggest priority is school, which brought me there in Manila, so its up to be whether to choose what's wrong or right.

Well, Bat ba ako nagmedtech? Damn beshy, I always hear that question for almost a thousand times already. Sagot ko lang palagi kase gusto ko. Though as years goes by, nakikita ko sarili ko magmedical missions, then after medical missions, makikipag laro ako sa mga bata. Di naman sa pagiging isip bata, pero dun ko siguro maeenjoy ang sarili ko, kapalit ng ilang mahahabang years ng pag take ng medical course. Yup, that's my goal, my dream.

But, this is REALITY.

There are times that we need to  wake up from our greatest dreams and face our greatest fears even though we got dreams and we have the right to chase them, but for us to chase them, it's a long way out there with reality, and that's really the reality.

Sino ba dapat sisihin kung di mo makamit dreams mo? Would it be destiny kase narerestrict happiness mo o yung sarili mo kase di mo nabibigay best mo?

Kung ako talaga tatanungin, para saken pareho lang eh, pinutol ng panahon yung kaligayahan ko kaya kung minsan wala na akong gana, di ko na bininigay best effort ko. Ganon talaga feeling kapag alam mong delayed ka na sa college.