Happiness

Okay, so first of all, thank you if you're going to read. This fic means a lot to me and I put a lot of effort and time into it. I'd really appreciate it if you would read it, comment and share so I get some feedback on it :) that's pretty much all I have to say. Enjoy!

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  I slammed my bedroom door shut, locked the door and plopped on the bed, face down, sobbing into the pillow. All I could think of was how much I hated him. Hated this place. Hated my life. I even hate myself. All the people in this stupid little town are retarded and I wanna get out of here.
  I live in a small village near Kent with my Dad and my little sister Allie. I go to school here and every day is a struggle. I'm just so different, I guess.
I get called names like 'freak' and 'outsider'. I could go on all day. Even my best friend left me for them. We were friends for 12 years. I'm 16 now.
When I say 'them', I mean the rest of my classmates. The girls: most of them have bleached blonde hair or just dyed to the point of complete damage where it looks like straw. And their faces are caked with make up. They're all stick thin and thank god we have uniforms, because outside of school their choice of clothes is horrifying.
I don't know how their parents let them out of the house like that.
Most of them are really dumb, or they act dumb. And they make your life a hell.
The boys: each and every one of them a judgmental asshole, who don't give a crap about how they make the girl feel with humiliating comments or harsh words.
Seeing my lovely, adorable, caring best friend Charli turn into one of these people, shattered me completely.
I still hear her words in my head so clearly. Words that she shouted to me after I'd come back from a three week holiday in Spain with my auntie, the only person who loves, understands and supports me.
Aside from my four-year-old sister.
"GRACE! I don't wanna be your friend anymore! You're so fucking weird! Just get out of my life and leave me the fuck alone!!" Charli yelled at me, throwing the cup I'd bought for her on the floor. The glass shattered everywhere, cutting into my leg. I felt tiny drops of blood flowing out of the cuts.
  A tear fell down my cheek. Three weeks. That's how long it takes for your best friend to be brainwashed and turned into a ...slut.
Charli had changed completely. It was shocking.
She used a lot of swearwords, she wore those slutty clothes, she'd gotten a belly piercing, she wore thick make up...and her long, perfectly and naturally curled strawberry blonde hair was now... Black. Short. And straight.
I sighed. "Okay, Charli. Bye. I understand..."
There was something...evil...about her eyes. Her green eyes used to be so honest and clear, now she just had them squinted into a permanent arrogant glare. Like she was mocking me. Like she thought she's something better than me. Whatever they'd done to her, I hated them. I didn't care what they did to me, but Charli... Why her?
  I sat up on my bed, sniffling with my nose.
I looked for my Blackberry and found it under some song lyrics.
"Grace! My love! How are you?"
"Daddy hit me." I cried. "Auntie Laura,  I hate this place! I don't wanna live here anymore!"
"That bastard did what?"
"I broke a dish and he hit me."
"This is out of order!" I heard my auntie's voice break with the last word and I knew she was struggling with tears.
"I will pack my bags, get Allie and come down to London. I can't live here anymore! I have no friends, everybody hates me and I'll forever be the freak in this village!"
  We'd only moved here because of my mom's cancer. She was dying and her dream had always been to live in a village. I've known all these people all my life and we used to play together. Charli and I used to call eachother and my sister the only normal kids in the town.
My mother died when I was 13. That's more than I could've ever dreamed of. The doctors called her a medical miracle because she carried me, survived, carried my sister, survived and died a year later.
When she was first diagnosed with cancer, they said she'd probably have only three years to live, but she pulled off 13 years! It is incredible and I don't know how she did it. She wanted to have me and the doctors warned her about the risk, but she didn't care.
I didn't cry when she died. I was proud of her.
  We have five horses, three dogs, seven cats and some chicken. The house is huge. It's ridiculous. We only use a few rooms, so what's the point?
  As I've said, I'm the 'freak' in the town.
I have long straight blonde hair, with natural curls on the ends and I have blue eyes. My dad used to say I look like an angel. He loved me. But I know why he hates me so much now, it's because I look like my mom. I am a younger, less attractive version of her.
And when she died, dad saw her in my face every day.
I'm small and curvy. I go jogging every morning at 6am, because I like to stay fit. Apart from that, I take swimming lessons after school.
Working out doesn't stop me from eating, though. I love my food.
I write songs and play the keyboard and acoustic guitar. I also sing a little.
I'm pretty good at school, but then again...maybe the IQ level isn't so high in our school. Which probably makes me average.
For the past three years I've been trying to be as invisible as possible at home. Every little thing would set my dad off. Like today.
  I heard the housedoor slam shut and when I looked out of the window, I saw dad heading to the bar. Good. He'll be gone for hours.
I quickly yanked my bag open, I always had it ready under the bed, and threw all my clothes in there. I didn't have many. I tossed all my songbooks and toiletries on top of everything and pulled the zip up.
I grabbed the teddy that my mom got me just before she died and took my guitar. I went downstairs, also taking my photoalbums and shoving them in the bag, too.
I ran back upstairs and grabbed the cookie jar with all my savings, emptying in on the bed and putting the money in my purse.
I went to Allie's room, packing all her clothes in another suitcase. I took a couple of her favorite teddies and dolls, but that was about everything.
I knelt down in front of her bed and whispered, "Allie wake up, we're going to see auntie Laura in London!"
She opened her beautiful eyes excitedly. "We are?"
"Yes love, but we have to go quickly!" I pulled her out of the bed and carried her downstairs.
"Let's go say goodbye to Roxie and Cinnamon." I told her.
Cinnamon was my horse and Roxie Allie's.
I cried a little, as I stroked her beautiful face.
She's brown and has a white patch on her face and her hooves had white around the ankles.
"I'm going to miss you." I whispered, kissing her between the eyes.
If I'd get caught now, dad will actually kill me, so I ran back to the house, put my bag, handbag and my guitar over my shoulder, took Allie's suitcase in one hand and picked her up with my free arm. For a four-year-old she weighs nothing.
I rushed towards the train station, always checking my back.
I got the last tickets for the afternoon train and bought us some snacks.
I stared at all the stuff in front of me.
Allie's and my life fit into three bags.
Obviously I had a lot of things, but I couldn't take everything with me. I was gonna miss my books.
I hoped that someday I could come and pick the rest of my stuff up with Laura.
I was hugging my knees, staring into nothingness, waiting for the train to come.
  Finally, about an hour later.
"The twaiiiinn!!" Allie squealed.
I snapped back into the reality. I gathered all our things and rushed to the train.
We found a good seat and sat down.
I'd never seen Allie more excited. Her little blonde curls were bouncing up and down as she did in her seat, her huge blue eyes even wider than usually. Her pink lips were the shape of an 'o' and her cheeks were rosy.
I love that little girl with all my heart. She's my everything.
I kissed her on the cheek and wrapped her into her favorite fleece duvet. I couldn't leave that home. She snuggled up by my side.
It was starting to get cold outside, I could see. People were walking around with hunched backs, shielding themselves from the wind. The sky was dark.
"It might snow," I murmured, stroking Allie's silk soft hair.
She was munching her crisps happily, looking out of the window.
Suddenly she looked at me.
"When we go to big city, you'll be happy. You'll never cry again. Daddy won't be there. I miss your laugh. With auntie Laura you will smile."
I stared at her beautiful face in awe.
She hadn't missed anything. She knew I cried. She knew dad hits me. That's something she shouldn't see or know. That made me sad, but then I remembered that she liked so see me smile, so I did. I smiled at her.
When was the last time I smiled?
I smile when I'm horseriding. Or when I sing. Sometimes when I'm with Allie.
"I promise I'll be happier." I told her.
The train started moving.

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