Estranged [Completed]

Lost

It felt like an eternity. Her mind and body torn between two extremes of sensation, pain, and ecstasy waging war for her soul. The darkness churned like a storm around her, beating her down with its devastating force. She reached out to it, she tried to regain control, but it was... different. It slipped through her fingers; it moved through her in odd, undulating waves. And in those waves it brought visions – no, memories – memories that were not her own. Falling off a bike and scraping her knee, arguing with a woman who wasn't her mother – but she remembered her as "Mother." It was her mother. But it wasn't Kalei's mother – graduating school, going into the military... tactical training... discharge...funerals... fighting – a black-nailed hand reaching for her arm...

"Kalei. Listen to me." Kalei felt the voice before she heard it. Another darkness entered the storm, steering through her own like a boat through fog. Somehow, the new darkness maintained its shape. Her own darkness pulled and tore at it, but the foreign visitor repelled the attacks and continued its journey unscathed. Then the new entity turned the tide, reaching out into the storm like a gentle hand, corralling her unruly darkness and pulling it back to her core.

As it worked, it spoke to Kalei in a male voice, soft and weary with age. The notes of it were deep, soothing, and familiar as it said, "You need to control the darkness. Kalei."

She yelled back, "I can't!"

"Yes, you can."

"No, I can't!" She wasn't sure if she was shouting out loud, or if all sounds were captured within that dark space. "There is no way for me to grab it. There is no way for me to push it or pull it or—"

"Your darkness has changed. Samantha's darkness has diluted it and turned it into something new. It behaves differently now, that is all. You have to learn—"

"I can't!" Kalei felt herself bawling at the futility of it all.

"Stop trying to grab it."

This voice was being ridiculous. First it told her to pull it back, then it told her not to. Her emotions spun through confusion, futility, fear, and finally settled on fury. "How the hell can I pull it back without grabbing it?"

"Scoop it."

"What?"

The voice remained calm and even. "If grabbing it isn't working, then try something else."

"I can't—"

"Scoop it."

By now, this other darkness had corralled most of her own into a pool. Kalei could breathe again. Not easily, but she could breathe. Her mind slowly began to clear as well. She thought about what he said, and she decided the voice wasn't going to relent until she tried. So, instead of reaching down to the darkness with an open hand, she closed her fingers and scooped. The darkness quivered oddly at her touch. For a second, she thought it was going to slip away from her again, but it didn't. As she pulled it closer within herself, it obeyed.

"Now, take control of your darkness."

Kalei reached out to do as he said, but when her fingers brushed against the heavy mass of her darkness, she stopped. "There's too much. I can't handle all of this."

"Yes, you can."

Her rage returned. "And who are you to tell me what I can and can't handle!"

The voice calmly responded, "I'm your grandfather. I know you can handle it."

"What?"

"I know you, Kalei, and I know the darkness. Now stop whining and take control."

Her thoughts crashed and jumbled in confusion. She tried to put together what he was saying.

"Take your darkness, Kalei!" The voice wasn't angry, but it was stern and uncompromising.

The other entity started to withdraw. Her own darkness began falling loose of its hold; it started to spill out everywhere. "No! Don't!"

"Take it."

She scrambled to catch it all, to scoop it all in, to put it back under her control. There was so much, too much. She continued to scoop, she continued to pull it in. Any minute now, she was going to exceed her capacity and explode. She could feel her heart straining with too much darkness. Every new addition felt like it would be her last, and still she scooped and scooped, a perpetual repetition she thought would never end.

And then she had it. There was nothing left to scoop. The screaming in her body retreated, and she could breathe freely again. Kalei let out a mental sigh of relief. As she took another breath, she could feel tears of joy building in her eyes. She hadn't thought she was capable of feeling joy anymore, but there it was.

She slowly became aware of the cold cement beneath her. She could feel warm sunlight bearing down on her skin. She could hear the rustle of clothes nearby. A shoe scuffed against pavement.

But her face felt cool as something blocked the sun from her eyes. She felt a hand pull away from her arm, and the shadow retreated, allowing the sunlight to find her face as well.

Kalei slowly opened her eyes, then immediately regretted it as the bright light stabbed at her retinas. She brought her hand up to shield her vision, squinting and blinking rapidly until she could finally see her surroundings.

She felt a hand releasing her arm as a tiny bit of foreign darkness retreated into it. She looked over, and on her right, kneeling beside her with his stoic, unreadable expression, was Terin.