Sometimes her stomach cannot keep silent. Sometimes it betrays her. There is no one to blame for that besides that other girl. The one who craves. The Craving Girl has won many a battle. Every time my girl is happy, the Craving Girl wins. She wins because her guard is down, because she is optimistic. She convinces herself of false truths. And I do not let my girl go without punishment for siding with the Craving Girl. I punish her. Oh do I ever. I scream at her so loudly. But no one else can hear. I scream until she is clutching her head and opening her lips wide in soundless yells for help. I scream until her eyes are squeezed shut against reality and she is writhing in her unforgiving bedsheets. And in that moment, the moment when she has retreated to the darkest depths of her soul, I almost win her over. In that moment, the darkest edges of me, and the darkest edges of her merge together. In moments like those, I feel as if my girl truly will be solely mine.
-Aria/My girl
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Entries of Aria
Non-FictionA series of 'diary' entries from different aspects of anorexia, some inanimate beings being portrayed as characters. This was a tool used to stick to anorexic tendencies. Other people have more control over you than you do. So when pretending tha...
