Trapped. { A Phan AU fanfiction }

Not a Boy

•pml•

I feel like this school's out to get me. Like it was made against me. Literally everyone here hates the community I'm in. The LGBT+ community. They hate it. I feel like they hate me but they don't know about me.

My true gender. Her. Phyllis. They say I'm a boy. They address me as a boy. They have me act like a boy. They call me Phil.

I don't feel like "Phil". Who even is Philip Michael Lester? Not me. I feel like Phyllis Marie Lester. That feels right to me. No one knows though. They can't know.

The last time that someone said they were LGBT+, they were kicked out or got beaten up. The story differs from person to person. Nobody knows the real story. One even said that they got killed.

The faculty here are cruel but not that cruel. Or are they? Maybe not.

At least I have a friend here. Dan. Daniel James Howell. He and I share a dorm. I think he's really nice. He always gets incredibly nervous around me though.

Is it because I'm older? Or is it because he's scared he might say something to upset me? I could never be mad at him.

•djh•

There he goes. Drifting off into space again. I wonder what he's thinking about.

What if he's thinking about me!? No, Dan. The chances of Phil liking you are about as high as the school allowing LGBT+ students into their building. Sure, they did let one in. Me. They don't know that though because I'm good at acting "straight".

I love Phil though. He's so nice, caring, and just overall a good person. I don't see how I'm his only friend. If only he knew how much I cared about him, then maybe things would be a little different.

I don't want him to ever hate me for anything. I get so flustered and nervous around him, hoping and praying that I don't say something stupid.

"Philip!" The teacher snaps, bringing Phil back to reality. "Y-Yes Mr. Carson?" He stutters. "Pay attention please!" Mr. Carson sneers. "Yes sir." Phil says, choking back the lump in his throat.

The class ends, so Phil and I head back to our dorm.

"Today was kinda sucky." Phil says out of nowhere. I look at him for a few seconds before responding. "Yeah. But it can only get better, right?" I ask, hoping for a cheerful answer. Phil looks at me and smiles. That beautiful smile with his ocean pools for eyes. "Yeah. You're right." He says, his eyes shine a bit.

He flops onto his bed with a content sigh. "Y'know Dan, you're the only thing that makes this place bearable." Phil says while looking at me. I blush profusely. "O-Oh yeah? I'll take that as a compliment." I say, sitting on my bed.

I feel Phil's eyes burning into my head. My face gets warmer with each passing second. "Are you okay Dan? Your face is really red." He says, clearly concerned. "I'm fine!" I exclaim, my voice cracking. He chuckles to himself. I groan out of embarrassment and hide under my black and white duvet. "I'm going to sleep." The duvet muffles my voice. "Goodnight then Dan." I hear Phil say.

AUTHORS NOTE LOL
hiya lol it me cameron. so this AU was something i came up while i was working on a cosplay of a similar thing. i hope you like this!! again, i'm only writing this for your guys' entertainment, i do not ship phan. y'all are loved! peACE.