Blackouts

The five stages of grief

    Haies woke up in the middle of the night, she didn't want to get up. That seem to normal for all this, that this life of hers has been shattered. It's been four and a half days since Jackson disappeared. They say that after 24 hours that 88℅ of the time that they are already dead. She hated that thought, why can't I get that out of my head, she thought.She needed food, maybe something light and not heavy. 

   When Haies tried to get up, everytime it seems she  would fall back down. Her legs were so weak it wasn't even funny, after about the tenth time she tried to get up, she finally made it to where she could stand. The first step was hard she almost lost her balance, no away was she going to fall again she thought.

  When she reached the kitchen, she was looking for something good to eat. She looked in the fridge,the cabinets, and even in her backpack for when she packed it for her and Jackson's date. "Crappppppppppp",she said for what seemed ages. Where can I go at this time of night she thought. Maybe a coffee shop, thou she doubt that there was one opened that she liked this time of night."hummmm", well she could always go to her shop, and make something there. Yeah that's what im going to do, she said in her head. 

   She graded a pair of sweat pants on and grabbed Jackson maroon sweat shirt since it looked better with the sweat pants. Put her hair up in a bun and pull on her glasses since she was to lazy to put her contacts in.

   Thou as soon as she put on her glasses on she heard a knock on the door. Who the f-ing living God knocks on someone's knocks at 3am in the morning. "Who is it",she said as making her way over there.

  "Ma'am it's officer Rossi, its.....its about Jackson ma'am".

   Haies practically ran to the door, in her head she was going. You found him.... you found him I can't believe it....you found my baby my everything!!!!! YOU FOUND HIM!!!!!! She couldn't stop smiling, all those thoughts about the 88℅ of him being dead left her mind for the first time since this whole thing  happened. When she reached the door,  she couldn't help but unlock it before she looked out the peephole. Thou she soon regretted it for she saw the look on his face, a pity look full of sadness. Her smile seem to pile right off her face,she realised they found him.

  "You found him didn't you...not alive thou?"

  "May we come in Miss.Carter?"

  "Oh yes of course yes come in come in".

   When they came in she could tell they loved the way her apartment looked, for the past two years that her and Jackson lived together she tried her hardest to make her apartment hers. With paintings on every wall, her kitchen was painted a pastel yellow but her living room(it was opened to the kitchen cause it wasn't the biggest apartment) was a powdery blue as one wall with the other ones was a light brown. Thou she loves these rooms her favorite room was her bedrrom, it was nothing but brick walls with their best and frist paintings in there. She all was wanted to put those paintings out in there living room, but Jackson would always say. 

   " Haies no, we picked these out together they remind me of the first options we went too, right before we went to go look at this apartment. As you recall, that was the first time I told you that I loved you. After we came home with these paintings that coast me a fortune,but I didn't care , cause you was so happy hanging them up. You wouldn't hang them in the living room or hallway cause you said we didn't have enough to make it look good. So we just hanged the way they are now. When we were done you kissed me and it wasn't like the other kisses we had. It led to more more than I would have believed it would."

     She was about to cry, OMG I'm about cry right in front of them, she couldn't stop thinking this. It just keep playing like CD in her head. Then finally, the police men started to talk, making her jump out of her skin.

  "Miss.Carter um..we have some...bad news".

  Nothing, nothing, was all Haies could fill, she could feel her heart beating in her ears. The blood seemed to stop flowing in her body. Why? Why was this happening to her?

  "Miss.Carter, do you need to sit down you don't look so good?"

   "Nnn".

    Was all she could get out, but Goddame, she was going to say something. Cause, Jackson wasn't dead he was alive, head sitting on their bed. Waiting for her, reading the latest book she just read, so they could have something to talk about.

  "N-no go o-on please".

  "Miss... Miss.Carter we found Jackson's body..."

    Was all Haies could hear, before all she could see was darkness. The ringing in her ear was making her go death. Five mins later she found herself on her bed, hearing the police men saying they need an ambulance. 

  "N- no, don't I'm fine please", she whispered to them. 

   "No never mind we are all good here".

    She set up, her head her head felling like it was about to explode from her headache. 

  "You almost had one hell of a fall there".

 "I really don't care right now, and you can show your way out".

   Haies didn't know where all this anger was coming from. Maybe it was them, cause they was the one that gave the news. She hated the world right now, why does she keep on having a crappy life? 

   " Um miss we really can't do that", they said to Haies. She couldn't take it no more,why won't they leave.

  "Did I f-ing studdered to you??? Get out of MY house, GET OUT!!!"

 They finally left about after the five cussing out lesson. They looked hurt for some reason. "They wouldn't have gotten hurt if they had just left", she keeper on saying to herself. She finally got out her room, she hated that they touched her. 

  They ruined her night, a night where she was going to go eat for the first time in two days. Now her appetite was long gone. Thou she need out of this house, before she loses her f-ing mind.