Happiness in Misery ~ P.S { A.U }

Ocean-Eyed Boy

~! TRIGGER WARNING. SUICIDE !~

I never thought I could love again until I met him.

Him.

The ocean eyed boy.

I've never felt such a rush in my veins, such attraction to a person in years. Ever since my dad died, I never wanted to know what love felt like. The only other man I've ever loved was him, until he died in a plane crash. When I was born, my mom took one look, and decided she didn't want me. I was found by my father in an abandoned apartment. He raised me, and helped me find my true passion, music.

Music, is like my religion. I grew up surrounded by it. After my dad died, I was devastated. I kind of isolated myself from the rest of the world. I wouldn't go to school, my friends would almost beg me just to leave my room. It wasn't until high school that things started shaping up. —at the time at least.

My aunt and uncle took me in, and made me change schools. I loved my aunt and uncle, of course. But it was never the same love that my dad and I had. My uncle was very musical as well, and helped me improve the skills my father taught me.

I decided I wanted to go back to school, to see my friends daily again. My grades were slipping, and if I wanted to go to college and chase after my dream, I had to work for it.

And I did work for it.

I worked hard.

I graduated high school with a perfect 4.0 GPA, took all 12 A.P classes, and was top of my grade. I've never seen my aunt and uncle so proud. "you would have made your father proud." They would say.

That's what motivated me to do my best on things. I thought I finally had my life together, until my grandma developed breast cancer. My grandmother took care of me before my aunt and uncle let me live with them. She was the first mother-like figure in my life, and I wouldn't be able to bear losing her. I would visit her every day in the hospital, and when she got worse, that's when it really hit me. She would shake from all the pain the chemo would cause, and I couldn't deal with it.

Two weeks later my grandmother died.

I was heartbroken.

I had an urge, a need to know what release felt like.

That day, I decided that I was done. Finished. A dead girl. I remember it like it was yesterday. Climbing up the hospital stairs, all the way up to the roof. I remember taking a deep breath, tears streaming down my face, knowing that I would soon be reunited with my dad and grandma. I was stepping onto the ledge, when I heard an unfamiliar voice.

"Don't jump!" I turned around to see a short man with blonde hair.

"Why shouldn't I? I have nothing to live for!" I sloppily wiped the tears from my face, turning around to step onto the ledge again.

"You have me!" The short man screamed.  I paused. Turning around to look at a person had never felt so difficult. "Look, I know we just met, but I care about you. I want to make you happy." That was it. That day was the first time I've ever broken down in front of a stranger. He opened his arms, signalling for me to go and hug him. I've never ran faster. I immediately embraced him, sobbing into his shoulder. "Shh, It's okay, I got you." His embrace was comforting in a way. He gently stroked my hair to help calm me down.

I looked up, noticing his greenish blue eyes. They were beautiful, just like the ocean. His face was traced with worry and sadness. "Thank you." I carefully embraced him again.

"No problem. I want to keep you safe. I know your cousin, he told me to visit the hospital to come get you. I saw you running up the stairs, and knew exactly what you were about to do." He hugged me tighter, sliding against the door. "He told me everything that's been going on. I'm sorry this had to happen to you, Nirvana."

"I want to say it's okay, but it's not." I look down, away from his bluey-green eyes. I see a stray tear fall into the cement floor and immediately wipe the others away.

"I know, but trust me, it's gonna get better." He lifts my chin up, making me look at him. "Your cousin recommended for you to stay with me, unless you don't feel comfortable, I would totally understand."

"Actually," I stared into his beautiful ocean-like orbs. "I'd love to stay with you." I carefully let go of the hug, standing up. He then follows suit, standing up and sadly smiling. He then looks up, staring at the sky.

"Looks like it's gonna start raining soon. We should probably get going." I nodded slowly. He extended his hand, allowing me to take it. "I'm Patrick by the way, just thought you might have wanted to know." He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

"Hi Patrick. Thanks for saving my life back there." I sadly smiled.

"It's okay." He sighs, "I wish you were though." I looked down again, staring at my shoes. I felt a raindrop fall on the top of my head.

"I do too. We should get going." He nodded his head in agreement, opening the roof door. We both walked down the stairs, me gripping his hand, still traumatized from what I was about to do. We made it to his black Audi in the pouring rain. He politely opened the door for me, smiling slightly.

"Thank you." I chuckled lightly, stepping into the car.

The ride was partially silent, the only sound coming from the radio, until I broke the silence. "I don't know what came over me when I was on the roof, I'm sorry. Thank god you stopped me." I fiddled with my thumbs.

"I know that feeling."

What does that mean? Did he almost make the same mistake I was about to?

I had so many questions, but I thought then wouldn't be an appropriate time.

"Oh. I'm sorry." I muttered, playing with the holes in my jeans.

"It's okay." He looks at me and smiles stupidly. "I'm alright now." I chuckle at his dopey smile.

You know, maybe sticking it out won't be too bad after all.

Depression is a little like happy hour, right? It's always gotta be happening somewhere on any given night.