her hand dropped.
and she faced me.
imedialty stepping on her tip toes
she reached up
and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.
it was soft.
delicate.
loving.
"i love you, daniel"
her words echoed around in my brain
repeating themselves over and over and over again.
it forced a huge smile to creep onto my lips.
"but you need to stop trusting me. you can't change what's already cemented."
what!?
i couldn't think.
i didn't have time.
that was her plan.
she'd already run off.
down the bridge
along the dirt path.
i followed her,
of course.
i didn't want her doing anything stupid.
she can't leave.
i refuse to let her.
she can't leave me.
my legs ached.
i didn't know where i was running.
heck i didn't even know where she went.
i lost her.
but i wasn't going to lose her forever.
i couldn't.
i can't.
i kept going aimlessly running around looking for her
looking for any trace of her.
and then
there she was.
below the bridge
i'd known to be four miles
away from where we first started.
where i thought she was happy
it must be about two am by now.
and she lay there
floating.
down the shallow river.
she jumped.
she must have jumped.
the bride was high enough.
i couldn't stop myself.
i didn't want to to.
i let the tears scorch my cheeks.
running down and onto my chin.
past my neck.
craddleing her in my arms
holding her
felt surreal.
i'd never hear her voice again.
how it soothed me.
how it calmed my nerves.
i screamed.
i let it out.
what was the point in keeping it in?
fumbling at my phone
my shaking hands dialed 999 as my voice, through sobs, spoke to the woman on the other end.
sierens in the distance grew
and became deafening.
time had slowed down
mumbling voices mixed together
blurred faces fused into hazy shapes.
i caught a glimpse of her face one last time before she was hurried into the ambulance.
cold.
empty.
the light was quickly fading
into darkness.
she was a scintilla of hope
for the world
for me.
i needed her.
she was my hope.
but she chose this
and who am i to tell her that she needed to stay?
______
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scintilla | daniel howell
Fanficscintilla ( noun ) a tiny, brilliant flash or spark; a small thing, a barely visible trace. a tiny trace or spark of a specified quality or feeling. "a scintilla of doubt" [ book one ] [ daniel howell fanfic ] [ lower case intended ] [ trigger w...