Not Quite There Yet

"...So just think of the future, think of a new life..."

Institution of the Performing Arts and Literature.

or just iPAL.

Finally. I’ve been dreaming about this place for years. It was a school dedicated to the performing arts and my first love. Music. My Dad wasn’t so psyched about my choice, it being a musician, because they said that I could be so many things, them pressing on the lawyer choice, and I could have been something more. The thing is, I don’t mind if I don’t end up famous or whatever, I just want to do something that’ll make me happy for the rest of my life, and that’s music. I am myself completely through it. And, besides, I don’t want to be trapped in an office cubicle for the rest of my life and just be stapling papers no one’s probably going to read wasting my life away in the same old routine. I was SO glad that my Mom understood that. So did my older brother. He had the same reason as to why he chose that school. He wanted to be in a band eversince he got that bass one Christmas when he was twelve. Everyone thought it was just a phase in his life, and that he’d get over it. But he didn’t. He was so into it. And so was I.

I absolutely LOVED the guitar. It’s my passion. It wasn’t just a hobby for me. And my brother understood that. It was one of the reasons that he and I were very close. I was one of the few people he didn’t have on his not-allowed-in-Drew's-room list. He had a bad habit of just shutting out people that didn’t get him, or people he didn’t get. Dad was evidently one of them. But, he absolutely loved Mom. But there were things that he would only talk about with me. That was probably why Mom was letting me go to the same school Drew decided to go to. She was so glad that I had made the choice to go to that school and do what I wanted to and not let Dad’s opinion sway me. Honestly, I also knew that she was happy someone was going to be looking after my brother. He was a rebel. Not exactly hard to handle. But, he took his freedom way too seriously. He’s such a party animal, and I guess that’s why my Mom was sending me there after him. Although, I knew even if I was there to keep him on said leash, (which is totally non-existent), he’d still be pretty smashed all the time.

I guess that was probably one of the reasons Dad was trying to convince me not to go. He probably thinks that I’ll end up like Drew. But he knows me well enough that I’m the responsible one between the both of us. I took myself more seriously than him. Maybe that’s why, in a way, Dad liked me more than him. He didn’t hate him, but he wasn’t exactly affectionate about him. The feeling was more than mutual with Drew. Dad’s favouritism didn’t really help. Another thing was, Dad was super strict. A reason why I never had a boyfriend. All the boys at my school were too terrified of him to ask me out on a date. I actually didn’t mind. I was even grateful for it. I was too focused on my music to even think about having a boyfriend. It was either that, or they thought I was geek for liking music too much. But, on the other hand Drew hated feeling caged by Dads house rules and opinions. That’s why a year ago, he was more than happy to finally move out and in into the apartment we'd rented because the school was quite far. I just wished they’d get along. Mom said Dad actually loved Drew. Well, he had a really funny way of showing it. She also said the reason why Dad had trouble getting along with Drew was because Dad saw himself in him. Why she said, I will never know.

But, what I knew was, I was ecstatic to leave tomorrow.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night thinking of all the things I could possibly be doing there.

                                                                                           .//.

“Do you guys have all your stuff? Are you sure you didn’t forget anything? We can go back home you know… I really don’t mind.” Mom said, as she helped us take everything out of the trunk of the car which was parked out in front of the tall, old, building that was an apartment which was now going to be home for us for the year.

“Yes, mom…” Drew said, as slung his backpack over his shoulder.  He was itching to get inside

“Are you sure? Knowing you, you probably forgot something…” She said, skeptically.

“Mom,” I said, grabbing her attention, “We’re fine, and no. We didn’t forget anything. I made sure of it. You have stop worrying!” She sighed, and smiled at me affectionately. “I know, I know… I just feel like I’m losing the both of you so quickly!” She said, as she held my hands.

“Mom… You’re not losing us." I reassured her. "It’s just school. And besides, there are holidays and breaks. I have a cellphone and so do you. Learn how to use it, ok?  You could always call me and Drew. The time zone’s are a little messed up, but I won’t mind. But, I can’t say the same for Drew, though…” Drew shot me a dirty looked while me and Mom laughed. “And there’s Skype and you could always write to us too, honestly Mom, there are so many ways. I know you’ll miss us, we’ll miss you too. But, it’s gonna be fine. Trust me, we'll be home before you know it.” I said, in the most convincing way possible.

“Ok, I believe you. Just promise me you’ll keep Drew out of trouble, ok?” She said, as she hugged me tightly. He just rolled his eyes at us and hugged Mom too.

“I don’t need anyone to take care of me, Mom.” He whined, as he pulled away.

“Of course,” Mom said, dismissing his side comment. “Take care of your sister, too, ok?” 

“I will.” He said.

“I have to go now, so I can let the both of you get settled…” She said to us, but it sounded more like she was convincing herself. “Oh, I’m going to miss the both of you so much!” She cried out, as she hugged the both of us tightly.

Drew and I laughed at her clinginess. “We’ll miss you, too Mom. But, if we keep doing this, you’re never gonna leave. Not that I want you to go, but you know what I mean.” He said, as he rubbed her back soothingly.

“Ok, ok…” She said, defeated. “I’ll let you go. I love you!”

“We love you, too Mom.” I said, as we let go. With that, she got back in her car and waved at us. We waved back as we watched her drive away.

***

hello there! so, this is my first story. i apologize for any typographical or grammatical errors. i didnt really proof-read properly, haha. so take it easy on the reviews :)) some helpful criticism would be lovely. and some votes and shares here and there. i hope you enjoyed the first chapter! like i said, please dont be a silent reader. i love suggestions. :D i'll update as soon as i have time.

title credit: future - paramore

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