I Told You (One Shot)

1078

Wednesday, November 29. Ampitheater. College Fest. 2:67 pm.

"Rhen, ano na? Why chicken-out in the last minute?" I braced myself as my bestfriend Claire came marching towards me. 

No, I'm not chickening out. I'm just thinking a lot of possibilities na masasaktan ko siya kung papaunlakan ko yung imbitasyon niya. One reason was I'm still not ready on what's about to come. In that case, well yeah I'm definitely chickening out. 

"Bes, di na lang kasi ako pupunta. Baka... anoㅡ" I looked at Claire and boy she looked so disappointed at me. 

"Ano na naman ba yang pinoproblema mo? Bes, tandaan mo yung motto natin, 'seize the day' diba? Matagal mo na yan pinapangarap tapos ngayong andyan na yung grasya di mo tatanggapin. Gora na!" She shook her head maybe she couldn't believe how stupid her bestfriend is. 

So my long-time crush, Gabe Mark Torrefalma has invited me to have dinner with him tonight. And I don't know why but he's been sending signals to me that he 'likes' me these past few weeks.

Like, hihintayin niya ako sa gate para sabay kami papunta sa rooms namin. He would join me and my bestfriend, Claire, for lunch kahit yung kabarkada niya ay tinatawag siya like every damn time but he would really insist to sit with us. He would send me this corny paper airplanes during Chemistry na may nakasulat na 'trimethylxanthine' and I don't even know what that meant for the both of us.

Tapos ako naman syempre kinikilig. Long-time crush mo ba naman ganyan ang trato sayo diba? Sinong baliw na hindi mag-aasume na the feeling is mutual? Diba dapat matutuwa ako kasi this is like a rare possibility to happen. The person you like actually likes you back??? Wow, the world sometimes is giving, huh?

"Okay okay, I'm going. But if anything happens I would held you responsible for it." I narrowed my eyes at my bestfriend but she just raised her eyebrow in question as if mocking me. I am the one responsible for my choices though so I guess it's not Gabe nor my bestfiend's fault. 

"Ano ba yang kinakatakot mo Rhen? Yan kasi yung problema sa'yo eh pinapangunahan mo lahat ng bagay. Savour the moment first bago mo pakawalan unless gusto mong mawala na siya ng tuluyan? Gragraduate na tayo next year baka magsisisi ka that you didn't grab the opportunity."  Yup, that's true. I always think about the next day, kung ano magiging bunga ng actions ko. I'm not savouring life as it is. Bawat galaw ko, may doubt talaga na kasunod. 

Because I'm afraid that if I give my heart a chance to love again baka di lang ako yung masasaktan kung magkataon, maybe everyone. I self-destruct when I fall inlove and when I do, madaming casualties.

Will it hurt if I gave myself a chance right now?

Tumango nalang ako kay Claire for my response. The screams and claps of the crowd stopped my thoughts. Oh, sila na pala ang magperperform. 

"OMG! Bes did you see that?! He winked at you!" Walang tigil niyang hinampas ang likod ko.

She may not mention names but I already knew who she meant. I looked at him. And there he was looking at me. Ako ang unang umiwas ng tingin. Then the music started. My heart pounded in my chest kasabay ng hiphop music nila na mistulang naging love song namin ng mga sandaling iyon. I laughed inwardly as I realized how stupid my thoughts are baka di naman ako ang tinitingnan niyan.