The Soul of a Dragon (Xiaolin Showdown Fanfic)

Self Reflection

"I think your ego is just you trying to hide what you really feel about what's going on.." Chase stood off to the side, taking a deep breath as he tried not to think about what he thought would likely happen. He swallowed, not liking the feeling that was starting to well up in the pit of his stomach. It was most definitely the feeling of fear, what he might do should he lose control. His fingers reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Please kill me now."

Meditation seemed like the only way to escape, yet his mind couldn't settle. First, his meditation had been broken by the smell of food. His mind flickered to Kimiko offering to let him borrow a video game, and a hiss escaped his mouth as the regret of not being able to live up to said promise came hurtling back. He didn't like the feeling at all, nor how Doan and Tao's disrespect of Kimiko made him feel either. Deep down though, another thought convulsed around his head. "I misplaced Dashi's trust in me."

"I still don't understand why you're making me avoid Chase. He wouldn't hurt me Tao. That's just not who Ching is."

Chase let out a groan, wondering why he managed to choose a spot to meditate near where Tao and Doan where. He bit his lip, drawing blood slightly. Simply hearing their voices again made him want to hurt them, the memory of their torment flickering through his head. A shudder ran down his spine, as the time he normally drank the soup each day crept closer, his throat tightening.

"Not hurt you? Do you even know what he is?"

"Our friend?"

"No dummy. He was never our friend. Don't you realize he's gone to the Heylin side?"

A hand clamped down onto Chase's shoulder as Tao told Doan the truth he'd yet to pick up. He turned to see Guan, giving him a look of pity. He found himself batting away Guan's hand, not at all pleased at his ex-friend's attempt at trying to sooth his irritation and the other feelings running around in his head. "I don't need to hear this, nor do I need your pity."

He attempted to walk away, only for Guan to speak. "It seems like I came at just the right time, as you have no more soup to drink."

"Yes. I expect you to kill me once I go mad from this self-inflicted curse of mine. That is, after all, the way of the Xiaolin." Chase's eyes darted away, unable to look Guan in the eyes as he worried his lips.

"If he turned to the Heylin side it's our fault! Don't you see it!"

Doan's words came unexpectedly, as Chase had expected the shock to make Doan not want to have anything to do with him. Instead, his jaw tensed, and his eye twitched. Guan let one eyebrow rise. "It looks like you're not as alone as you think."

Chase's eye twitched even more, his head turning to look at Guan. "It looks like Doan's not the only idiot."

"Why did you drink the Lao Mang Long soup?"

The younger of the two ex-friend's felt his eyes blink. He'd not thought of his reasons for a long time, and instead simply kept going day after day, getting lost in the repetitiveness of eternal youth and life. "Does it matter?"

"Doan seems to think it's his fault."

"He's an idiot to think that their childish attempts to torment me as a child sent me down the path of evil. I would have gone down that path anyways."

"That sounds like something Tao would say."

Chase turned, trying to figure out what Guan was up to, let alone thinking. A smile flittered across his face. "That really means nothing. Just do your job when the time comes. And leave her and Omi out of this."

"There must still be good in you if you're worried about those two."

The younger of the two choose to ignore his ex-friend, and instead walked away, finding a place to sit as the withdrawal symptoms began to set in. A shiver ran down his spine, as he sat there, unsure of what to do next. Chase's eyes closed, thinking carefully of what to do, knowing full well he'd just pushed Guan away. Asking for help even from Fung seemed wrong, even though he knew he should do so, if he didn't want to completely loose himself.

A hand reached up to pinch his nose, wondering if he should just give in, letting Guan and the others kill him once he went completely mad. Pulling his hand away, he saw a small female monk standing in front of him smiling, although very weakly. "How are you doing?"

Chase's tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth, the instinct to say some form of snarky comment about how he didn't need help attempting to take hold. His voice remained low, the cocky attitude he normally took on for once seeming useless. "I apologize for causing you trouble."

"It was Rai's decision to destroy your soup despite the fact we don't know what will happen, let alone if there is any kind of cure."

"Aren't you all better off without me?"

"Don't talk like that." Kimiko took a deep breath. "Some of us would miss you, you know."

"I don't see why." The words were truthful, blunt, and would hopefully deter the conversation as well as the Fire Dragon's interest.

It didn't. Kimiko simply folded her arms behind her back, and smiled. Chase's eyes narrowed, wishing she'd just lose her temper with him like she did the other monks, but instead she just smiled, as if she knew some kind of secret that she wasn't going to tell him. It was another thing he wasn't in control of. "If things actually turn out well, perhaps you'll get to see why."

Chase continued to frown. He also couldn't say anything.

"We do though need to know how you're doing." Kimiko rocked slightly on her heals, purposefully playing with his mind and...

Chase shook his head, not wanting to believe that the female monk was possibly flirting with him. He felt his head pound. "You're annoying."

Annoying, at least in the way she made him feel. Her blue eyes narrowed. "You know why."

"Because precautions need to be made for when I finally go completely insane."