The Geek, The Nerd, and The Loudmouth

Nightmare 2

Keep Going by Myuuji

Darkness washed over me as I found myself back in my own personal Hell. The setting was the same: same truck, same toys, same house, same broken dream. Tonight's nightmare would be different than the last, but most likely a repeat of one I had many times before. I was always trapped in the same bubble; the bubble that chose how it was going to ruin another perfect memory, and this time I was being moved to the backyard. The world lightened only the slightest as the lights from the patio illuminated the backyard. The sky was dark, save the lights from the big city in the distance, and millions of stars twinkled overhead.

My bubble sat me down on the grass, behind...my father. He stood in front of me, throwing punches at an imaginary being as my mother set up food on the picnic table. This was one of my happiest memories; the 4th of July with the best father in the world. We had been standing out in the grass for an hour, he teaching me how to defend myself, my mother making dinner. He wanted to teach me and my mother the art of self-defense, in case he ever wasn't there to protect us. I think it served its purpose well.

My father turned around and spoke to me, his face still nothing but a blur. "Okay, Kassie, your turn," he said and pushed a boy in front of me, "Exactly what I showed you." The boy was wearing a backward, red hat and a green shirt that fell over his black pants...it was Kevin...I didn't want to hurt him again. I mean, I knew it wasn't really Kevin, it was supposed to be a crudely made sandbag dummy my father put together just for this occasion. My bubble just had a very cruel sense of humor. "You know what you have to do," it whispered.

The bubble made me walk closer to the dummy with my fists raised, repeating the actions I had used when the events had really played out. I struck the dummy in the face, much harder than a 5-year-old could really hit. Blood trickled down from Kevin's nose and into his now open palm as he looked at me in fear. I hit him again, striking his eye and kneeing his crotch. The pain was evident on his face, but I wasn't allowed to stop until I had mimicked everything my father had shown me. I punched his gut and his jaw, but he couldn't move and just stood there bleeding. I kneed his crotch once more then rammed my fist down on the side of the skull. Kevin fell to the ground and mouthed "please stop" as blood spilled from his mouth. Luckily, I was able to, as my mother intervened our lesson.

"Toby," my mother said from the patio, "she's five, don't turn her into a monster. Now pick up the sand and come eat, dinner's ready." My father ruffled my hair and picked Kevin up, slinging him over his shoulder as mass amounts of blood flowed from his mouth. I squeezed my eyes shut then opened them, finally seeing the sandbag dummy spilling sand out of the bottom of the bag. "Toby, stop spilling sand everywhere or I'll make you pick it up grain by grain!" My mother sternly yelled as she came up from behind and picked me up, carrying me to the table.

I was forced me to wrap my arms around her neck and kiss her cheek like I had done when this was real, but I wanted to do exactly to her what I had done to my dummy.  She sat me down on the seat of the picnic table as she scooped food onto my plate and set it in front of me. I looked at her face to find that it was still blurry, along with my father's, as he returned from his trip to the garage and sat down next to me.

I smiled as I was allowed to keep the memory of my father taking the food I hated and turning it into a monster that attacked my hand whenever I grabbed my fork and tried to eat. He was always doing things like that to make me smile. He wrapped his arm around me as we finished eating and gave me a hug, then scooped me up onto his shoulders as we walked back out into the grass to watch the fireworks our many neighbors were shooting off. We laid on a blanket in the grass, me with my head against my father's chest and my mother in the crook of his arm. I waved a sparkler around, making a heart around my parents' heads. I gave myself a sad smile. I loved you so much. Once my last sparkler went out and my dad and I had finished throwing POP-ITS at our neighbor's fence, I curled up into a ball with my head still against my father's chest, holding onto his hand.

I never wanted this moment to end, but they always do. As soon as my 5-year-old-self started drifting off to sleep, I felt my head fall and hit the ground, the noise echoing around me. When I opened my eyes my parents and house were gone, leaving me in the darkness curled up into a ball. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again, hoping the memory would come back, but it didn't. I clenched my hand into a fist and smashed it against the ground, letting the tears fall. I missed them so much and I wanted to go back to how it used to be, back when I was just a little kid spoiled with love with two amazing parents. I curled my arms around myself as I continued to cry. "If you be good the next two days, I'll give you fun,"  the voice whispered, before my bubble shattered.

I woke up in my room, my pillow stained with tears. I sighed and wiped the tears away, sitting up in bed and replaying the nightmare in my head. I tried making the tears go away, but new ones just kept forming, so I just let myself cry. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, silently crying to myself in the darkness of my room. I miss you.