Can He Be Tamed?

Why me?

Why?

I listened to my mom and dad arguing downstairs, I sighed and sat against the wall and laid my head back. His eyes flashed through my mind, and then the pain that filled them when I rejected him. I remember the last words he said to me. They replayed over and over in my head.

“I’ll see you soon” his voice said in my head like it had been the past 34 hours. I haven’t slept or ate, I’ve thrown up all the food I've ever eaten in my life, I don’t know if it’s because of the all the alcohol I had been consuming, or defying nature and rejecting the one person I was made to love.

I closed my eyes trying not to concentrate on the pain shooting through my chest, which had begun when the three words I was never supposed to say to my mate left my mouth.

My mate was a cruel, heartless monster. Tyse Detricks, his name made me feel like I was about to throw up, I swallowed back the bad taste in my mouth.

What was I supposed to do? I can't have a perfect life, with a monster. With someone who’s heartless. With someone who murders, and isn’t supposed to have a mate. I remembered the way everyone looked at me when I got back with disappointment and disgust.

My stomach flipped and I quickly got up and made my way to the bathroom and threw up. The way he looked at me, in awe, in shock, in disbelief. Like he couldn’t believe he had a mate. I sat there on the cold tile for a minute trying to wash the image of the way he looked at me.

I got up and brushed my teeth and washed my mouth out. I looked up at myself in the mirror, I looked like shit. I just stared at myself, looking into my eyes. My eyes had turned a dull black, instead of their usual unique gold.

I sighed and went and turned the shower on as hot as it would go. I couldn’t feel the hot water burning my skin, I was numb. I leaned against the wet tile and slid down it and sat there in a fetal position, I wrapped my arms around my legs and laid my head on my knees.

I felt like there was hole in my chest, one that would never be filled. The water eventually started getting colder and I got out and put on some clothes. I returned to my position sitting against the wall with a vodka bottle hanging from one of my hands.

I didn’t bother trying to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t. I would just toss and turn thinking about the way his cold eyes studied me and a flicker of pain filled them for a mere second when I rejected him, and then they returned to their original hollow stare.

He had studied me for a minute and then he said the words that I wished were true “Don’t forget your mine” I remembered his deep voice and the effect it had on me, the pain increased thinking about it. I gritted my teeth and tried to force myself to think about something else. Anything else.

I stared blankly at the TV; my mom had turned on to try to distract me from my thoughts. About him. I didn’t know what they were saying, I didn’t care either.  I focused on my mom and dad’s voices downstairs, the yelling had ceased and their footsteps were coming up the stairs.

My door opened and I looked to my mother’s face, she looked heartbroken. She came and kneeled down in front of me. She looked like she had been crying. She looked at the bottle in my hands in disapprovingly.

“Are you okay?” she asked me, I nodded avoiding my father’s gaze from the doorway.

“We’re going to bed” she told me lightly.

“Try to get some sleep” she told me running her hand up and down my arm. I watched her hand, but I didn’t feel it. I couldn’t feel the warmness of her hand or the warmness of the comfort she was offering.