As He Moves

Chapter 10

Zayn wakes up in the morning in a pair of Liam's sweatpants to the sound of Liam bumping things around in the kitchen. Judging by the light coming in the mostly closed curtain covering their window, he'd say it's just before noon. Which means it's way too early for him to be getting up, but he's got this giddy, nervous feeling inside of him and he can't get back to sleep.

Last night was – the night of his life, honestly, but it also may just be the end of something great. In the light of day, what happens to them? What happens to Zayn and Liam now?

Sitting up, Zayn rubs at his eyes and stretches as quietly as he can as Liam continues to pull things out of the fridge. At the last second a yawn tears itself from Zayn's throat, and Liam tenses, hands squeezing the egg carton as he turns around.

"You're awake," Liam says quietly, the same soft, worried look in his eyes that's reflected in Zayn's heart. "Come help me."

Zayn nods. Liam's sweats slip down his hips a bit as he heads for the kitchen, sidestepping Liam, keeping a good distance between them. Is he allowed to touch? He doesn't think so, but he wants to. That mark he left on Liam's chest stands out like a brand, like proof that last night was real. He wants to press his lips to it, but Liam's busy pulling out a frying pan.

"What're we making?" Zayn asks, voice as low as Liam's had been, soft in the silence of their apartment.

"Omelets?" Liam suggests.

Zayn nods again. Liam hands him peppers, he grabs a knife, and they go about cooking. There's no sound aside from the knife knocking against the counter, Liam cracking eggs into the frying pan, the occasional, "Oops, sorry," when their arms bump.

It's awkward and horrible and Zayn wants to cry, only he hasn't cried in— a really long time, and he's not going to now. Even though he knew this would happen. It was inevitable. They crossed that line last night, he knew they were, and he did nothing to stop it and now... they have to live in the wreckage.

Liam burns the eggs, Zayn knocks half the onions and peppers onto the floor, and they both just stop, Liam's eyes watering in frustration and Zayn tossing the knife carelessly into the sink with a thunk and a clank of metal on metal.

"Zayn," Liam says, and it hangs between them. He's waiting for Zayn to speak up, fill the silence, answer the questions they both have.

He isn't going to do that. If this – if this is breaking, Zayn refuses to put the last crack in their relationship.

Only – only Liam steps closer to him, crossing the inches that separate them in two stumbling, hesitant steps. He reaches up, cupping Zayn's cheek, and Zayn holds his breath as Liam leans in, lips slowly pressing together.

Zayn doesn't kiss him back (he's too scared to get his hopes up and show too much) but he doesn't push Liam away, either. Liam pulls back, hand dropping to his side. "Last night," Liam starts.

"We crossed a line," Zayn supplies, balling his hands into fists. "We crossed a line."

"Yeah," Liam agrees. No point in denying it. "So we can..." He trails off, taking a gulping breath. "So we can either let that ruin this, or we can— We can move forward."

"Forward," Zayn repeats, uncertain.

"I don't see how I could go back to being just your friend and roommate after last night," Liam all but whispers. "Not now when I've— I don't think I could."

Zayn doesn't either. Not now that he knows how Liam's lips taste. "Okay."

"Okay," Liam says, like they've decided something. He grins, leaning in to capture Zayn's lips again, and he realizes that they have.

Zayn kisses him back this time, no longer worrying. He tangles his hands in Liam's hair, and a groan falls from his lips as Liam licks into his mouth without a care for the fact that neither of them have brushed their teeth yet.

"Maybe we should go out for breakfast," Liam suggests when he pulls back, eying the mess they've made in their attempts to do it themselves. "My treat. I mean, I am making a lot of money tonight."

Zayn is nodding along, but Liam's suddenly tensed and taut, eyes narrowing, gnawing his lip between his teeth. "What?" Zayn asks, wanting that look in his eyes gone right now, because Liam looks like a man who was given the world and is having it taken away from him.

Liam turns away, back to Zayn. "I – I mean, I want us, Zayn," he says as Zayn puts a hand on his back, not sure what the hell is wrong. "I've wanted it for a while now. I want it to work, but... I've had it not. I know it's not – my job isn't easy for everyone to deal with. But it's. It's part of the deal, Zayn. You want me, you have to accept that too. That's the deal."

Oh. That—right. Zayn completely forgot about it. It slipped his mind.

And something white hot sticks at his ribs and his stomach, like annoyance and jealousy at the thought of Liam getting up on stage and other people watching him, touching him, but— "I don't care," Zayn says honestly, bluntly. "Like,I really don't."

Liam turns, snorting at him. "That's what you say now, but then next week we're arguing about it, and you're storming out and calling me a—"

"A nothing," Zayn says sharply. "You know I wouldn't."

"I also know that most people aren't okay with what I do," Liam says lowly. "Especially when we're in a relationship."

Zayn takes a deep breath, thinking it through for a moment instead of just blurting anything to make Liam happy, because this is a serious conversation. Liam's a stripper. That's just – that's just how it is. And Zayn's either got to accept that, or he doesn't and they don't try.

"It's just a job," Zayn finally says. "I know you, Liam. You're not the type to cheat on someone. And I recall you saying last night that there's usually a no touching rule. As long as I'm the only one who gets to touch, I don't care who looks at you. I can deal with it. I mean, look at you. It'd be impossible for people not to, naked or not."

Liam's cheeks are flushed. "Seriously, Zayn," he says. "This isn't— it's a big deal. I don't want you to say this now and regret it later."

Zayn sighs, frustrated. He wraps his arms around Liam's waist. "I'd rather deal with this than not have you. That a good enough, Liam?"

For a moment it looks like it's not, but then Liam's grinning again, nodding rapidly. "That's good enough for me," he says.

"And you're good enough for me," Zayn adds. "No matter what you do for a living, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"But they're really not allowed to touch, right?"

Liam laughs. "Right. I mean, there might be some groping occasionally, but..."

"How much groping are we talking?" Zayn demands.

Liam squeezes his ass. "Not much."

Zayn groans, but then he presses his lips to the mark on Liam's chest. "Just with their hands, though," he says. "I can touch with others things."

Liam lets out a breathless sound. "Yeah."

"And you don't touch them back," Zayn adds.

Liam's hands slide up his sides and then grip Zayn's length through his sweats. "Only you."

"I can deal with that," Zayn says, and then he lets Liam prop him up on the counter as they forget all about breakfast and the real world and everything that isn't each other and each other's bodies.

o|o