My biggest fear is to be left alone in a room of silence,
To be somewhere where no one is watching,
To where the only sound that can be heard is the voices in my head,
Some may think I'm crazy but my friends know who I am,
I am that happy go lucky guy in the corner of the room that keeps to himself I'm that guy that who seems like an optimistic to those who need help,
But honestly those are just personas that keep you at bay,
For I am what the voices make me some days I'm dead on the inside but never want to show it others I feel less dead but dead all the same I will never criticize you as badly as I criticize myself, for the simple matter of my voices don't seem to hate you as much as they hate me,
They eat me alive from the moment I wake up to the very second I pass out I no longer sleep like a healthy person cause I am tired of seeing my death played out in front of me as if I am audience of thousands in a theater of a horror movie waiting for the end credits to roll
I know everyone has a story I know mine isn't the worst to be told
I know that my dream paralysis will only let me move when I die in the dream that I am having
Sometimes when I sat in a desk at school I'd daydream
I daydream about what my life could've been if I wasn't as messed up as I am now
All I can tell you is this "I know my happiness should be important to me but its not. I care more for you and your well being over mine. Sometimes I wish my life could end but it doesn't, I don't have the strength to end my own life cause I feel like I trick myself into thinking my true purpose is to make everyone happy. When I fail at even that simple task my mind kills me a little more on the inside."
