Where do you go when your past has became your reality, and your future. When the life that you live is a total abomination. The love you give has become unreal, and unrecognized.....Nowhere.
1.
I was alone. Didn't know where to go, run, or even hide. So I sat there. Waiting for the next the next budge. I knew it was there. I could feel it, smell it. It was almost like it was attached to me. Like It used my energy to function. When I tried to run it was like instant death. Like my whole world turned black. So I ran, and ran. And I kept hearing something. Just couldn't understand what was being said. But I didn't say anything back. My grandma always told me, never respond or speak to the unknown. It was almost like I ran a mile until I saw a door. I bust through the door so fast thinking I found the way out. When I ran through I saw a billion lights big & small. I was so confused. Are these flashlights? Am I having hallucinations? I screamed, "WHERE AM I!!!", "PLEASE HELP". Someone responded, "You are in your inner soul" I didn't understand what that meant but I asked how do I get out and it said I can't. That I'm stuck here forever. What did I do to deserve this? Am I dead? Am I in a coma I don't understand. I'm stuck here, and there is no turning back. Thats when I realized I didn't find a way out. I found a way in.
2.
I had estimated I've been here for about 4 hours now. Surprised my stomach hasn't growled a single time. I believe I wasn't hungry because I was still in panic mode. No phone, food, or water. At this point I believe I was either in limbo [a region on the border of hell or heaven], or maybe it was just a dream. I prayed and prayed to ask God to wake me up but nothing changed. Maybe he had given up on me. The only thing to accompany me was my thoughts and worries. But the more I thought, the more hallucinations I was having. There was something telling me not to be scared but there was nothing anybody or anything can do to make me not be freaked out. Maybe 30 more minutes went by and I decided maybe I should listen. Maybe if I believe everything will be fine I can get out of this place. After believing I saw a light. It was the late for me to leave. I was so excited. I ran as fast as I could to the light. Once I was there I entered a hospital. The hospital I was born at.
3.
I was confused. "Why am I here?", I said. But something felt weird. Obviously I couldn't have just magically appear here. But I knew it wasn't over. Whatever got me here clearly wasn't finished. I walked through the hospital asking people how do I get out of here and they acted like they didn't even see me. As if I was invisible. I walked past a room and couldn't help but notice a lady holding a little small child she had just given birth too. I walked in the room and something grabbed my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "That's you". I knew it. Nothing else would make me have an instant connection with her. I asked it, "Why am I here?", "What have I done?". It told me to "Find my own light, be myself and to look toward the Stars" I had no idea what look toward the Stars meant. I turned around and it was nobody there. "Sighs" What does a star have to do with anything. There bright and high up in the sky. But what else? What could make this so important? Then I thought, Stars make people happy, people wish on shooting stars and it gives them hope. "That's what I needed to know!" I yelled. Stars symbolize purity and fulfillment in life. "Now can you show me who you are", I said. No response. Now I know God was teaching me a lesson.
I woke up.
4.
When I got up was so sweaty it was as if I went for a marathon run. I seemed so exhausted. Not even enough energy to get up out of my bed. But I knew I did not want to go back to sleep after everything that just happened. The time on my phone was 5pm and it was Tuesday. And I thought did I not go to school today? I got up to go to the bathroom to take a shower to wake my self up and and I heard someone say in the same familiar voice in my dream. "Be yourself, be happy, and never give up on your dreams." I saw a shadow on the floor and I turned around.
It was myself.
