damned

I'm damned

That's all what filled his head , his hands are shaking, his legs can't carry him anymore. Lots of feelings made his heart explode; pain, hurt, fear... lots and he can't put them in words. He is scared, no he is frighten. He is fighting back tears threaten to spill, screams flounder in his chest , his body is frozen and for a minute he thought he died ,his eyes still wide open; he couldn't believe what her just saw ...

She was unconscious, blood was covering her face but god, she still looks angelic and beautiful as always, he barely could see her for few seconds before they took her inside the operating room .

"Will, she is going to be ok"

"Will do you hear me?"

"Will"

His friend's voice sound like a background, like some kind butterflies calling for him to tell him lies, what he just saw can't be ok, he's going to lose something today but he hopes not to lose much, he is just hoping not lose everything today, he doesn't want his happiness to go away and stay with nothing but pain.

His friend drag him to sit on a chair, but it feels when he settle in one place his body is settled on flame, he kept walking back and forth along the passageway, his heart is beating fast, pounding frantically against his chest, he barely can breath, it feels like he wants to scream but he can't find his voice.

The minutes felt like hours and hours felt like years, finally the doctor was out, Will looked at him with pleaded eyes, like he is begging the doctor to tell him something good, but the doctor expressions were unexplained, "dr.owner" Will listen carefully to the doctor "dr.owner I have to be honest with you-" the doctor sigh "we did our best but your fiancée is in dangerous situation and your baby-" Will expression made the doctor knew that Will knew what happen  "miscarriage?" the words came out low like they left scared on his heart on their way out of Will's mouth "yeah, she hit her stomach hard on the wheel when the accident happen" Will tried to tell himself if Emma is going to be ok, he can make up for their lose, everything is fine if she is fine , only if.

Day by day pass, sometimes he just sit next to her talking about their good times, wondering if she can hear, and the other times, he just there holding her hands examining her face every day,  like he sees it for the first time, and he can't help it but fall for this face harder, her white skin makes her looks like some kind princess of a fairytale, her perfect nose, her big blue eyes, it feels like he is looking right to the sky, it feels like he is looking at a face of an angel.

He ran his index slowly on her soft cheeks, watching her carefully. He was hoping she would wake up and ask him to stop it , she always hate it. "Emma wake up please I'm dying, love" he said holding her hand between his hands, "you have to wake up, it's the Christmas"

He placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand, and focus himself to smile but instead it brought tears to his eyes "babe you have to wake up for me, I don't want to be alone in the Christmas" his eyes turned red, he got tired of holding his tears, a single tear fell from his eye , he filled his chest with a deep breath trying to not break down, "love, you have to wake up that's the only way you can make up for me" another tear stream down his cheek "babe, you promise me to cook dinner together, you promised to watch our favorite movies all night while you are in my arms, babe for god's sake wake up!"

 He wiped his tears with his sleeve, then hold her hand again "I miss you and I feel like I'm going crazy with every day passes, if you love me wake up...Emma I'm dying... babe wake up" his voice fade and he broke into tears.

She let go for low groan, he looked up to her she is up. "Emma!" he held her hand tight , smile broke through his face, he feels like he come back to life and his heart is beating again "Will" his name came out  low "babe I'm right here" he start laughing Hysterically "you ok?" he just wanted to  make sure , her eyes were half closed and she start to remove the ventilator of her mouth and nose "Will" she growl his name "I'm here" he kept kissing the back of her hand then the top of  her hair.