winter blues. kth

n i n e t e e n.

Dear Park Haeri,

I'm sorry, i'm disturbing, you're preparing for your wedding. I know you're excited.

but I hope you can spare a few minutes to read this because I have a lot of things to say.

first of all, Haeri.
I have to Say, you're an inspiration to me.
I'm sorry about that late night in 2005, when you cried and I couldn't bring myself to comfort you. I didn't have the words and I was confused myself.

its been such a long journey alone sometimes I wished I had someone with me, to give me company.

And whenever I thought back about the times in high school, you were all I could recollect.

When I sat alone in the meadows, back in Busan, I would see you from far, standing, and somehow I wouldn't feel all that lonely.

Sometimes I feel you're traveling your journey alone too. I feel
we could be there for each other.

back then
In high school, I always felt a connection between us,
Like we both were hurting and we
needed each other, but I was too busy reaching out for ah sung, someone I couldn't keep to myself forever.

We try to reach out for what we want and not what we need the most. it brings heaps of grief at the end.

when our classmates bullied you for your past, yes I knew about your past, it had me becoming so angry I couldn't keep my sanity. Because it was crazy, you were treated unjust as though you didn't have a second chance. I wish I could be there for you.

and you loved the stars and the galaxies as much as me, am I right?

I always thought you knew what you're doing, you were lookin beyond.

I wish I would be like you.

I promised myself I wouldn't go down the memory lane but that's me, old and sappy.

I know we both are past our past, you've have forgotten your affection for me, I mean look at you, getting married away, with with the love of your life, if you will.

and I might not have the right to say this because it's a little too late, it doesn't have to change anything, but,

I love you.

i didn't love you back in high school, but I have this feeling that there was a time, maybe whirling in the winds, probably over the meadows in busan, where I fell in love with you. Maybe even for a second, but the feeling is so strong, I had to let you know, I loved you, i still do, I don't know when I'd stop.

but don't stress over this because It'll pass, don't worry about me trying to get over your wedding.

all of the mess apart,

We've grown up now. And we're going to have a swell life ahead.

so thank you. for showing me how to not dwell on the past and move on.

And I'm sure you're going to be okay from now on, I just know it.

we'll all be okay.

love,
taehyung

END
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