Surrender

chapter 15

Chapter 15

Sophie opted for the stairs instead of the elevator so she could have a little more time to gather her thoughts. She clenched and unclenched her sweaty palms with each step. Running a hand through her wavy hair that tumbled over her spaghetti strapped shoulders, she licked her dry lips and made it to the third floor landing with wobbly knees.

            With wide eyes and a foggy head, she glanced between her door and Chris's. She didn't have to do this. She didn't have to hand her heart to him on a platter, she told herself.

            Hell, who was she kidding? He'd robbed her blind of it days ago.

            She needed to be honest with him. She needed to tell him everything, and he could take it or leave it. Despite the swarm of restless butterflies in her stomach, she raised her fist and knocked on his door, closing her eyes against the sensation that made her feel like she was breathing underwater. After what seemed like an eternity that screamed with desolate silence, she knocked again…and again…and again. With each agonizing breath, she added a different reason to the ever growing list that explained why he wasn't answering the door.

            Finally, she allowed herself to believe that he wasn't home. The idea of never seeing him again ripped through her mind like a tornado, destroying every rational thought in sight.

            Her insides crushed with a boulder of incomprehensible loss, she asked herself whether she had been too late.

            "My time in Cape Coral is only temporary," he'd told her just the night before. It echoed through her mind like a broken record.

            Had he left without saying goodbye?

            She stepped back from the door that filled her with poisonous doubts, cradling her head in her hands, trying to pull herself together in spite of the shuddering weakness in her knees that threatened to send her crashing to the ground.

            She'd lost him before she had the chance to tell him she loved him, before she had the chance to tell him goodbye.

            Gasping for air, she guided her weak hand against the cool metal railing of the staircase that led to the roof. She'd spent much of her time there in the wake of Sammy's death, talking to herself and watching the city go to sleep while she couldn't. A heavy solitude situated itself atop her shoulders, making it difficult for her to pick up her feet and keep moving.

            Pressing her weight against the door, she pushed it open, a flood of cool night air sweeping across her limbs, her vision obscured by the free-flowing tendrils of her hair. She tugged a strand behind her ear and found a familiar figure standing by the edge where the waist-high glass fence kissed the cityscape.

            "Chris." She prayed her eyes weren't deceiving her.

            He turned, his hard eyes melting like chocolate upon meeting her gaze. "Sophie." He smiled.

            She came closer to what she was sure was an illusion. "I though you'd left for good," she confessed, unable to conceal the distress in her voice.

            He placed a hand on her arm, closing the space between them, his touch letting her know that he was real.

            "I though I wouldn't get a chance to say goodbye. But you're here," she said.

            "I'm here," he assured her, intertwining their fingers, "and you're here." He guided her to a tangerine lounge chair and sat down beside her. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm not going anywhere."