Troubled Minds

Life.

We live in a fucked up world.

Full of fucked up people.

With crazy ideas, and crazy things going on all the time.

Where feelings are no longer worth a damn.

Everyone is a robot, with all of their flaws neatly tucked inside their front pocket.

You may ask why...

And I wish I had the answer,

But the truth is their isn't always one.

Just shit happens,

Life gets rough,

Trials get harder,

And I know some people believe god is leading you through this path of life and won't ever throw more at you than you can handle...

I'm not here to tell you that this isn't true,

Because who am I to question some higher power?

I'm just young and perhaps more naive than I care to admit...

But, I've seen things I wish I never did.

Sometimes I wish I had a normal life,

With normal parents,

A normal family,

But then I realize I wouldn't be the same person,

I love and hate that,

And the thought of me being somebody else scares and entices me all at once.

I hate that females are treated like objects,

That are always supposed to satisfy.

Where a good boy, is a 'rare' thing..

That's bullshit,

Not saying it isn't true,

But as a human race we are a huge fucking disappointment.

It isn't okay,

That sometimes you have to worry about if your brother is going to be fucking alive next Christmas,

Or if mama committed suicide,

Because she's just so sad all the time,

Or if daddy is ever going to understand the feelings trapped inside,

Or if grandmas having an affair,

If religion is being used as a weapon by a crazy aunt who holds children captive in her home to pay for a boob job,

This is the dark side.

I'm not trying to be all fucking morbid,

Life can be really amazing sometimes too,

Like when you meet someone for the first time, and you start to memorize the way their lips form words,

Or their laugh makes your ears and heart sing,

The slight wave in their hair,

The way their eyes squint when they smile,

The moles on their neck,

The little details you'll always remember,

The walks in the night,

The way their mouth shapes when they say your name...

People, people make life good.

With Love, and friendship, and anger, and all those emotions.

People bring the only thing that really make you alive.

That burning anger, means you're alive.

The butterflies in your tummy when you see that cute boy, means you're alive,

The fire feeling you get on your skin when they trace your wrist with their finger, means you're alive.

The sadness in your gut, that you swear makes you numb, means you're alive, even if you don't feel alive.

When you're so broken you think you can never be put back together, the ache, the pain, the loss, the love, the everything. Means you're alive.

Because life fucking goes on, regardless of what you're feeling, or anyone else says..

It might be the hardest thing you've ever done.

But, the butterflies, the anger, the sadness, will return over and over again. Sometimes, you just need to be strong enough to wait for the good moments to return...

The bad ones will always come back, but dancing in the rain is alot more fun than waiting for the storm to pass...

Because I love the way your nose crunches up when you laugh,

And the sound of that laugh, god I wish I could listen to it for the rest of my life,

And I wish I could kiss your pain away, every drop,

And I truly would take all your pain away if I could, even if it was the death of me...

I love you.

Even though, you might not ever love me,

Thank you for showing me how to love, because every bit of it reminds me how to feel, gives me a reason to breathe, the unsuspected ray of sunshine in a really bad storm, that gave me the wings to fly to the sky... you're my best friend, I truly mean that... the only person I won't ever truly get sick of... but, you gave me life in a bad time and I love you for that, I'm human, and I realize now how to feel like one, so thank you.