The Sandy Household
4/2/2012
I woke up at five this morning. Since my sister wakes up earlier than everyone else, I wasn’t surprised to find a cooking pot on the cooker boiling on high heat (The early bird…is responsible for breakfast. Mwahaha!). I was worried that she’d just left it there. My sister had a tendency to forget things pretty fast. It was making that sound that usually meant that the contents of the pot were about to spill out. What I had originally thought was tea water boiling (kettle broke) actually turned out to be one of those 5 minute noodles packs. Ramen! Not really.
At five in the morning…???
To make things worse, when I walked into her room she was seated on her chair, with her laptop on watching ‘The ringer’ (yet another twin drama series, she was also hooked on ‘The Lying game’ too). In her hands was a packet of half-eaten potato chips, which she gladly offered me (God bless her soul) after she noticed me staring blankly-in her direction-for a while.
As if that wasn’t enough, I noticed a glass of orange liquid next to her laptop on the table. Orange juice? Nope. Well it was orange. A long cool glass of orange-flavored soda pop. (I’m pretty sure it was spiked seeing as it was not the first time she refused to share her drink with me). A week ago she had registered into a sports club to ‘exercise’. After quitting the gym 3 times this year.
I nearly laughed when she walked into the kitchen, stared at my breakfast, (milk and an apple, an egg frying on a pan, I would get the bread, cereal and other fruits later) then quickly departed with her noodles.
I guess I’ve always made her feel like she was a bit on the chubby side. To her, I’m a thick thin model with a body to die for but to me, she’s the curvaceous sister I always look up to. She’s always struggled with her weight. It was hard growing up watching her fears turn into a reality as the inches around her waist grew and grew, while mine shed off just as fast. At some point, I felt responsible for her sadness and anger. And I felt responsible for the people who caused her that pain. So for many years, I have had a deep hatred for my father, my brother and myself.
I never noticed the unnecessary comments that they made about her weight until I got older. My father’s went unnoticed. I call them ‘Ninja Jibes’. Once you realize what damage they carry, they had already sunk in deep. My brother’s were the ‘Out and Proud’ disses. They’re sharp and lethal; completely thoughtless words that he blurted out from time to time. However, I’d like to think that mine were worse. I needed no words. Just my presence in the room would suffice. I named it ‘Mirror on the Wall’. Everything you wanted to be but couldn’t be because The Man in the Sky said so.
When I was young my sister and I were tight and used to share secrets and everything. She’d entrusted a secret with me, but you know kids. I didn’t understand, so I asked very innocently: “Mum, why does Nee-chan(sis) want to lose weight?” Later, I had learnt that my sister had been detained only to be lectured on the kind of things that she was teaching me. They’d misunderstood. I wasn’t the one with a problem, it was Nee-chan. So why did she get yelled at?
She’d refused to tell me anything and before she fell asleep, she told me that she never entrust me with any other secrets. I’m sorry to say, but it’s been like that till today. I’ve never again earned her trust.
So…I have a sister whom I love but can’t trust because she doesn’t trust me back (Yeah, I have trust issues b*tches. I’m also clingy in a good way.). And all this started because of her weight.
She may want to lose weight bad but I want it worse. Then maybe I can (forcefully) take back what we used to have.
I haven’t had a decent conversation with my sister for a while now so, “Sis, now that you’re skinny, let’s talk boys. So Jang Geun Suk, huh?”
“You and those Korean actors.”
“Don’t judge me! You said it yourself that Kim Bum is sexy. ”
“That’s before I saw his face.”
“Racist!”
“Pervert!”
“Racist and pervert!”
“True!” ~Blushes~
Maybe that can wait a while. She still thinks I hug her stomach to make fun of her. She still hasn’t figured out that I’m really just short with small skinny arms. And there's a lot of her to love.
-S
To all Readers: Love yourselves endlessly. Noone's gonna do it for you. The flesh will rot eventually but your character is what makes up the story of your life.
