Heartless

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First Thought : Maybe I don't have emotions because I gave them all away. As a god, I can do that kind of stuff and I don't think the mortals appreciate it, but it seems like they're better off having them than I am. . .

Gray is often seen as the color that forms when black and white clashes together. So, in other words, it was basically made when the darkness and the light fought with each other. But in my eyes, the darkness was winning. Winning by far. Because those gray eyes staring defiantly back into mine were full of nothing but shadows and malevolent intent.

"It's all so simple, Thaddeus," she purred as she looked at me, "your heart for my hand in marriage. Easy." I gave her a blank look, attempting to stifle the amused laugh that threatened to spill from my lips.

She snarled at me when she heard my reply, "Funny. You think that I actually want my heart back? And for what? You?" My laughter was choked down when she grinned at me impishly.

"You think this is funny? That this is all some stupid joke? What I find funny, Khan, is how you think that you actually have a choice in all of this. This isn't a deal that I'm offering - - It's a threat." She smirked at me triumphantly, as if she had won. But, gods, did I want to prove her wrong.

I shook my head, glaring at her before I turned to leave, "Fuck off." And it suddenly felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest again, slicing me open and shattering the ribs that caged it.

- - -

The sound of cutting flesh is usually very distinguishable. Well, at least it was to someone like me. My nails sank into the padded flesh of my palm, slicing neatly through the skin as blood leaked through and dripped down towards the floor. A low, agonized groan escaped my lips as the sound neared closer and closer.

I dared to open one eye, my breathing heavy as I slammed my fist into the steel slab I was tied down to. "What the fuck?" I managed to hiss out, my eyes widening when I noticed the blade.

Dried blood caked the jagged end, and fresh waves of the thick crimson liquid were already washing the old layers away. I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't even feel the pain anymore that had increased enough to completely numb over.

"Thaddeus. Zachary. Khan. What a legend you are, Khan, and now you're finally here," a voice whispered in my ear. I couldn't help but shudder, chills washing down my spine.

I could feel it now, the jagged blade stabbing in between my ribs and toying with my beating heart as blood spilled everywhere. I gritted my teeth, nearly crushing my fangs and probably my jaw as I held back a cry of pain. "The God of Emotions, who had it all before he gave it to the humans who needed them more than him. The god who's now practically heartless and unwanted. But you're not anything special, now are you? You're just some heartless freak who has a soft spot for the poor mortals that don't even know of your existence."

The blade's grip somehow tightened within the meat of my heart, shredding through and causing me to groan once again.

"But you're not truly heartless, now are you? At least, not yet. Are you ready, Khan? Your legacy will live on, of course, like any other immortal god. But I'll make that real, Thaddeus Khan. You will be immortal - - Because without a beating heart, you won't be alive or dead at all." The voice laughed hysterically, as if it were the funniest thing in the world. The blinding lights flashed before my eyes, as if warning me. I choked as the metallic scent and taste of blood washed over me, overwhelming my senses.

And with that, they ripped out my heart.

- - -

     Thal eyed me disdainfully as I entered the room, her sea green eyes filled with disapproval. I was shirtless, once again, my bare chest exposed to her as she glared at the scar.

     "They just. . . They just ripped out your heart like that?" She whispered, trying her best to conceal the frown that danced across her lips. I slowly nodded my head, not wanting to speak about it as she weaved back behind my swiftly to look at my injuries. "W-What about the scars here?"

     I tried my best not to flinch, but ultimately failed, "Whipping. Every three hours - - Forty lashed until I either bled out or went unconscious. And when I woke up there was always a friendly masked person there with another knife to slice me open and see if I was healing up well."

     The rage and pain was evident in my sister's eyes as she grasped my chin gently and forced me to look at her. "Everyday. . . For two years?" Her voice was quiet. Broken. "And I didn't even know?"

     Reluctantly nodding my head, I pulled away from her, not wanting to be touched. Physical contact was ruined for me now, and I never wanted to have someone's hands on my skin ever again. Thal bit her lip and settled with staring at my scars, her eyes tracing every line and detail in memorization.

     "Y-You just let them," she muttered, "you let them hurt you."

     "I couldn't do anything but stand by and endure it. I didn't let them do anything, they let themselves," I spat angrily, irked by her choice of words. Her eyes widened, and she shrank away a bit.

     "I didn't mean to put it that way. . . I just. . . You were hurt. And they didn't even care."

     My gaze turned cold as I clenched my fists, remembering the way that my nails dug into my skin that day. The scars were still on my palms : Unnatural, curved lines that were torn into smooth skin that let me do nothing but hold on and bear through it. "I'm always hurting, Thal, it's just that no one ever cares."

- - -

A / N - Sorry for the short filler chapter. It's obviously not my best and I am not proud of it ;-;

Um. . . So I kind of have an announcement? I will not be continuing any of my book, and I'll update at least one chapter for a few of my favorites before stopping completely. I just don't think that I have the potential to actually write and continue stories, so I'll just leave these here if anyone really likes them for some reason.

I'll be updating Sinful soon and possibly even Reyne, but I doubt it. Hope you guys enjoyed what few chapters I managed to bring up and publish here. Thanks for reading, if there are any readers out there.

But back to the story - Any opinions so far? I know my writing isn't much, but I tried in this chapter.

What do you think of Thaddeus?

I'll close out the author's note here. . . Bye. This is completely unedited, so I apologize for any mistakes or typos.

- A Q U A R I U S