"we accept the love we think we deserve."
god, every time I wake up I want the pattern to change but the pattern is what keeps me alive. that's not just some shitty metaphor I mean ever since the old grunting, groaning and awkward violent cave man times when they would follow a pattern every day so that they could save up the energy to learn and process information. I learned that from a tv show I don't research cavemen. but I do pride myself in being one of the tops in all of my classes.
"stop hogging the fucking bathroom, Vanessa!"
I get broken out of my thoughts oddly about myself by my brother getting pissed about me 'hogging the bathroom'
I exit the bathroom wearing my baggy child pajama, messy hair with barely a fourth of my hair horrendously in a ponytail, and eye bags as if I haven't slept since I was born.
"holy shit, you don't need the bathroom you need Jesus," my brother says staring directly at all of me.
"shut up," I say mumbling and drag downstairs to get coffee.
when I get downstairs I walk to the kettle and stair blankly at the water then zone back in and go upstairs to my room. I open my computer and print my history assignment out then staple it. it takes me about 5 minutes to put on my makeup which consists of setting powder to lessen shine, highlight, mascara, and a brown liquid lipstick. it then takes me 10 minutes to curl all of my straight hair. I walk to my closet and put on a thin gray sweater, black leggings, black boots and grab my black school bag. I neatly put my history assignment in my bag between two books to avoid crumpling. I go downstairs and put coffee in a disposable coffee cup then put the cap on.
"Bye Vanessa!" shouts my dad peeking around the corner to wave to me.
"Bye, dad." I say flashing a smile then leaving through the front door.
I walk outside the gate and see Rachel pull up in her car. she rolls down the window of her black honda civic. and looks at me
"get in loser we're going shopping." she says referring to mean girls. I laugh and hope in her car.
I close the door and we leave. Rachel has her platinum blonde hair sleeked into a straight ponytail. she's wearing red lipstick with a plain white shirt, looping red scarf, black skinny jeans, an army green coat, and brown boots. Rachel is extremely intellectual but it isn't extremely obvious. shes one of those people who do homework at the last minute and wings it on tests but still gets A's. it's kind of frustrating really but she's that friend who doesn't care what you've done, who you are, or what your past is because she cares more about who you are as a person. everyone in the group is different yet oddly follow the same pattern.
AN
I can't tell if this chapter is short or not so um help but this is my first thing so yep. tell me if the chapters should be shorter or longer or not exist lol. this is about 500 words so tell me what amount i should have judging by this chapter. thanks for reading bye!
