momma said she was beautiful, so that's what she called herself.
beautiful. it taste soft on her tongue, something sickly sticky and sweet like honey nectar dripping from momma's soft lips. she would hold momma's calloused palms against her cheek, and breath in time with her pulse. momma was beautiful, too. momma looked like an angel, like a goddess. with hair as wild as the young girls ripe, pumping heart and lips that glistened in the evening sun.
as a child, xira would tug on momma's ruffled skirts and ask, momma, momma, flowers on your skin. why are there flowers on your skin? and she point to the blossoming blues and yellows flourishing and thriving. so pretty.
but momma would frown, and her eyes would like the ocean, all blue and endless and beautiful. but momma did not smile, and that made xira sad. momma, why are there flowers!? i want flowers, momma.
momma's lips would shudder, looking like little lungs. breathing and pumping. so odd, momma's lips, especially when the oceans in her eyes would uncoil like baby snakes, slithering down her smooth ebony cheeks.
no flowers for you, she would murmur, voice of sidewalks in the summer, cracked and hot and rough. daddy plants these flowers, but they are not beautiful.
but daddy, xira frowned, brown brows curving in. is not a planter. how does he give you those flowers?
she never answered, that made xira curious. one night, the moon so big and endless she raised her fingers in the tangled light to see if she could climb the beams and run all the way to the moon, she padded out with her thumb in her mouth, to momma and daddy's room. she pressed her ear to the door, wisps of her curls teasing her long, fringed lashes.
i-i love you, lawrence. momma sobbed. xira cried too, she didn't know why, but momma sounded so sad. please, don't─
then momma screamed.
you bitch! daddy yelled. xira stumbled away.
and ran. ran to her room and cried, sobbed, because daddy hurt momma. why would he do that? momma was so beautiful and kind and had flowes beneath her skin. momma was xira'a whole wide world.
that night, daddy left.
he didn't come back.
and momma was with him.
─
my poor xira. i apologize for this chapter; it's more of a prelude. tell me what you think.
