The Investigation of Hayden Porter

Quinn

After Kent had found Quinn having a full on panic attack at the news he had decided she was staying home. Their parents had both gone to work but Kent decided to take it upon himself to stay home and make sure she was okay.

Quinn appreciated that her brother cared, but he wasn't the one she really needed at that moment. Nobody in her family wold understand why she was freaking out so much. The only person who knew was Kade and he was half the reason she was about to lose it.

She had been lying down trying to sleep for two hours but everytime she closed her eyes all she could do was picture all of the horrible things that could be happening to Hayden and Kade.

Finally she couldn't take it anymore so she got up and got dressed. As she was about to open the front door she heard Kent's footsteps approaching.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm just going for a drive." Quinn showed him her keys.

"Do you want company?" Kent offered.

Quinn shook her head. "I'm good, 'm taking my bike I just need to clear my head."

Kent nodded, "Okay, I might not be here when you get back. Mom made a casserole for Mr. and Mrs. Alvarez and I might stick around there for a while, see if they need anything."

"Okay." Quinn started to walk out but stopped and turned around. "Hey Kent."

"Yeah?" Kent turned back to her.

"You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine. It was just a shock. I just need some time to process."

"I'm sure they're both fine, just getting away for a couple of days." Kent said.

Quinn could see in his expression that he didn't really believe what he had just said. She didn't either, but she wouldn't say that out loud. "I hope so." she said instead.

She pulled on her helmet, flipped the visor down, and started up her bike. As she rode down the street she couldn't help but think about how full of shit she was. She wasn't going to be fine, not until Kade and Hayden were safe and home. How had everything changed so much. Just two days ago Kade had been earning first place at his swim meet, and Hayden- she felt guilty to admit that she hadn't known how Hayden had been. She had been angry at her so when she tried o talk to her in the hallways on February 12 she had ignored her. No she wished she had ignored her, what she had said was much worse than ignoring her.

Quinn could hear Hayden calling her. The hallways wasn't crowded enough that she could reasonably say she didn't hear her, but she pretended she didn't anyway and just kept walking. She felt Hayden's hand grab her arm and she immediately pulled her arm back before turning around.

"What?" she asked, her voice sharp and uninviting.

Hayden didn't look completely surprised, just sad. "Can we talk?"

Quinn shook her head and laughed dryly in disbelief, "Are you going to answer my questions?"

"It's not that simple, Q." Hayden pulled her to an alcove in the hall next to an empty classroom.

"Don't call me that." Quinn snapped as she pulled her arm back.

This time Hayden did look a little hurt and Quinn did feel a little guilty, but not guilty enough to forget why she was angry. "Look, I'm sorry. I know that I hurt you but please I just need five minutes of your time. It's really important."

"No, you can't do this to me, because you know what, you've already wasted enough of my time. I gave you a chance and you pushed me away and you won't even tell me why. So no you cannot have any more of my time Hayden." Quinn whispered angrily so nobody could overhear her.

"I know, and I'm sorry I know I don't deserve it. I just really need to talk to you. Please." Hayden's voice sounded more desperate and vulnerable than Quinn had ever heard it before, but she was too hurt and angry to let it break her. She had promised herself she wouldn't let Hayden suck her back in again. She had been hurt too many times.

"You're right, you don't deserve it. I'm done giving you chances, I'm done making exceptions for you because you ask me to. I'm just done." Quinn refused Hayden's request again. "Just stay away from me. I didn't think lost causes were a real thing until I met you."  And with that Quinn walked away. She couldn't help but hear the small "okay" as she walked away. It didn't sound like Hayden but she knew it was. She had never heard her sound so defeated.

Quinn had hoped that conversation would finally release her from all of the pain Hayden had brought her but it only made it worse, because now she had to add guilt to the pain. She had felt guilty the second the words had come out of her mouth but she didn't know how to take it back. She had looked for Hayden the rest of the day but she never saw her. That was the last time she had seen Hayden. Now knowing that Hayden was gone she felt guiltier than ever. She felt like she could be the reason she was missing. Hayden had been upset and she had pretty much told her to fuck off and that she was a terrible person with no hope. In the moment she had just wanted to hurt Hayden, but it didn't make her feel better and she didn't believe the words she was saying. Now she was just terrified Hayden was off in trouble because of her.

Quinn parked on the street in front of Hayden's house. She sat on her bike staring at the house. Minutes went by before she finally started to approach the front door. When she rang the doorbell Mr. and Mrs. Porter, Hayden's grandparents were there almost immediately. Mrs. Porter was still in her bathrobe her hair a mess, dark circles under her eyes. Her husband didn't look much better, he was dressed but his outfit was mismatched and he looked very shaky.

"Oh, Quinn!" Mrs. Porter greeted her, her voice sounding as relieved as someone whose granddaughter was missing could.

"Hello, Mrs. Porter, Mr. Porter." Quinn greeted awkwardly.

"Please come in." Mrs. Porter stepped aside to let Quinn in. She nodded and stepped up into the familiar entryway to the small house.

Mr. Porter walked into the kitchen and Mrs. Porter turned to look at Quinn, she took both of her hands. "You haven't been around for awhile. Thank you for coming."

"Of course." Quinn squeezed Mrs. Porter's hands reassuringly.

"Did Hayden say anything to you recently about going anywhere?" Mrs. Porter asked hopefully.

"I don't know," Quinn lied. She didn't know how to tell Hayden's grandmother that she might be the cause of Hayden's disappearance. She didn't think she could see her face when she learned that information.

"Oh," Mrs. Porter looked a bit disappointed. "Please come sit we were just making some tea." She started off towards the kitchen where her husband was setting out some mugs.

Quinn was hesitant, feeling guilty because she had sent Hayden away the last time she had seen her. She couldn't help but feel that if she hadn't pushed Hayden away that she wouldn't be missing.