Bad Boy Roomie {COMPLETE} [UNEDITED]

Chapter 23- If Love Is Strong Why Am I Weak?

  You know you really love someone when you can't hate them for breaking your heart.

  The heat from the sun warms my face and I slowly open my eyes, my head is throbbing and I feel like I'm blinding. I lift my hand up to cover my eyes from the rays.

  I look down and I notice that Cade's arm is wrapped around me and I can't help but feel sad. I lift his hand up and crawl out of his hold. I turn to look at him once I'm off the bed and he's still in his clothes from the hospital.

  All the memories from the hospital resurface and I start shedding tears. I can accept the fact that he's the father of her baby but I can't accept the fact that he's going to be that close and personal with her.

  That was not acceptable. It doesn't matter if they were friends. I've seen them a few times before he started changing and she could never keep her hands off him but he was never like that with her. If he was trying to let her feel better... why did he have to do it like that?

  He starts moving in his sleep and I turn to walk away. I didn't want him to see me like this. My eyes were probably swollen because after I got in last night I couldn't stop crying, I cried myself to sleep.

I went into the bathroom and I locked myself in. I was enjoying the night, we were enjoying each other. I feel so weak when it comes to Abby. What if when this baby comes he forgets me? What if he decides to marry Abby? I should have listened to my friends, they were right. They told me that I would get hurt and I ignored them. Why didn't I listen?

  I can't contain myself and I know I'm crying loudly, I don't want Cade to hear but I can't help it. My thoughts are eating away at me and I can't be strong. I'm weak. I'm weak...

  "Toby?" Cade calls as he knocks on the door. "Toby are you okay?" He ask and I try to silence my crying. "Open the door Toby." He says fiddling the lock and I lean against the sink covering my mouth. It was pointless because he already heard me.

  "Toby why are you crying?"

   "Tobe... let me in please."

  "Was...it me? Did I do something?"

  "I'm sorry if it was me Toby. Please don't hide from me... Come on. Please open the door." My heart hurts everytime he speaks because I know right now he's hurting because he's scared. Scared that I'll leave, I can hear it in his voice.

He's quiet and I unlock the door. I open it slowly and he's sitting on the ground by the door. Once he sees me he leaps to his feet and he looks at me with sadness and fear in his eyes. I use my sleeve to wipe my tears and force my lips into a smile. Why was I smiling? My face wouldn't hide the fact that I was crying, what's the point in masking it.

  "Hi." I finallty speak, my voice raspy. I clear my throat and he stands looking at me. I walked pass him and went over to my bed.

  "Why were you crying?"

  "Because Cade..." I sighed.

  "Because what?"

  "I just realized that I'm not strong enough for this." I said in a teary voice.

  "Strong enough for what? What are you saying?"

   "You, Abby, the baby.. I can't do it Cade. I'm not strong enough."

  "Toby please don't talk like that." He says walking over to me. "Please don't give up on me. I'm trying so hard." He says kneeling on the ground in front of me. He places his arms at either side of my hips and places his head in my lap.

  "I'm trying hard not to give up. When I saw you in the hospital with her, in her bed.. I've never seen you that way with her Cade. She's always clinging on to you and you're always pushing her away but last night it was nothing like that. It makes me afraid Cade, afraid that one day you'll realize that it was her all along. That Abby was the one you wanted and not me." The last sentences hurt like hell and I feel like I just killed myself.