It's a sad thing. Or maybe not even sad, just drearily intriguing. The blunt realization of ones own existence. Looking at your own hand and pondering the fact that in reality you're just a soul in a body. If you even believe in that sort of thing. Looking in a mirror at a face that plenty of people have seen in your life with so many different expressions painted on depending on the situation. Depending on the people. You see your own face, and then, you realize you've never truly SEEN your face. Yes. You've seen reflections and you've seen pictures but you've never really SEEN you. Having someone talking to you and understanding them and responding as such. Laughing along with them but not really feeling there. Not happy. Not sad. Just nothing. There is faint emotion but it's so difficult to place what the emotion is. It's like a fuzzy gray film over what should be vivid color. Being a part of group activities like sports or parties and feeling singular. Feeling like you don't belong. Feeling unseen. Feeling as though your a ghost among the masses. Feeling shallow but overwhelmingly so. Feeling so much, yet, nothing at all. And so you run your hands under ice cold water. And so you bask in the sun. And so you try and try and try (and try and try). And fail. Because regardless of what you do, it's hollow. It's all just- hollow.
