When She Left

Chapter 1

I can still remember that day so clearly.
I can remember her voice and how I could hear the pain in it. I remember rushing to her house, speeding down the streets, kicking open her door and hearing a faint "goodbye."
Today marks one week after the suicide of my closest friend, Anna.
I can still see it so clearly.
The floor covered in blood, the smell of alcohol and smoke, pills everywhere...
The most horrifying part of it was her body.
Wrists slit to pieces... so deep you could almost see bone... stomach had a gaping hole in it... I just cant get it out of my head.

I had called 911 as soon as I saw her. She was wrapped in my arms as I was screaming for dear life not to take her from me until 911 came. I was an absulte wreck.
Tears were streaming down my face, so many tears.
Her parents met me in the hospital, they thanked me for calling. Even her father, who had always hated me.

We waited in the hospital all night long for some news about her. Our palms were sweaty, tears covered our faces, and the fear of losing her on our mind.
Finally the doctor came and I could tell by his long face it was bad news he was about to share. I immediately tuned out. The world went quiet, there was a ringing in my ear, I could see her mom hunched over crying, and her dad sitting there with a blank face. I couldn't even get up to comfort them. I was too lost.

The doctor, I think, was trying to calm us down and apologizing and saying she was too far gone.
Nothing's going to help me with this. And, to think, earlier that day she was at my house, smiling throughout all the pain in her life. Genuinely having a good time.
I miss her so much. She was the closest thing I had, now she's gone and I am blaming myself.
Nothing anyone will do will help me through this, I lost my closest friend. Now I have to live the rest of my life without her.