The Girl- ( Rough Draft Only, Not Related To The Betrayal, Different Story)

Every day's a struggle

"Effy Ellon. 18 years old. So used and broken she has nothing in her left to fight. Tired and angry. Used and abused. She cuts to relieve the pain. She stops eating to feel some other type of pain. A better kind. Does anyone know her? Who she is? Who she was before that...? Don't judge whom you don't know. They could be smiling in your faces and bleeding on the inside...."

Effy:

"My names Effy."  I  mutter.
"Hi, Effy.." The group mumbles back, even the leader of the group. I know they're supposed to be this upbeat,  logical, and all-knowing group counselor, right? Nope..  I found out years ago that was just in movies. Nothing ever happens in support groups, no unlikely friendships or relationships(sorry, Hazel Grace..). It's just a boring support group. Every day I wake up, get dressed, drive to school, then afterwards to SASSG or (Sexual Abuse Survivor's Support Group). Such is the cycle.

"Effyyy?"  The counselor drags out my name, obviously high on something, probably weed.  "Are you here with us todayyy?"  I nod. "Good.. Why don't you...share what your thinking..?" He nods off. Wtf? Is he serious? Abby looks over at me pointedly raising her eyebrows. I  ignore her.  Ever since she started last month, she's attached herself to me trying to be my best friend..ugh.  I try to play along, but it's often too much work, I can't let myself get too close to people..
Since I obviously ignored her she huffs and whispers, "Can you believe this guy, the nerve of him, I can't believe he actually fell asleep!" I sigh, and keep my head forward when, I whisper back, " I know, it's pretty obvious."  She doesn't get the hint and keeps talking on. She's horrible at whispering and soon the whole group is staring at us.. I duck my head, and walk out. She follows me.

Above: Effy

I stop and stare at the ground. The grass, the dirt, the sticks and pebbles and stones.. how many times do they get stepped on? I kick the dirt as Abby runs outside. I start to walk off, she follows behind me like a little puppy. Still keeping my pace, I ask her why she hangs around me. She says because we're the same, we've been through similar situations. 
I nod. "We haven't though.." I say quietly. But I won't go there. I wont open the box that ruined my life.
As I walk along the driveway, I reach my car and climb inside, rolling down the window as Abby walks away. " You're wrong you know!" I call out.
Without turning towards me, she tells me so quietly, I have to strain to hear her, but I make out, " I just hide it better." And with that she walks off into the fog.

When I get home, I think about what she said about hiding it better. She's right about that. I hide my pain by not thinking about it, and sarcasm, but if you talked to her, you wouldn't know she was damaged...

Sarurday Morning:

"Effy!!! Effy!!! Get your ass up!! Fucking bloody hell..." I groan and roll over, and my stepfather rips my covers off. 
"Wtf!! You goddamn..." I look up and see my new stepfather staring at me with anger and what is that..lust? No, that can't be right..please no... I look down and, scream, I forgot that I slept nude last night! I gasp, whimper, and curl over. I  fumble under my pillow as he grumbles something unintelligible, and storms out. I find my blade just as "They" come, the  unwanted memories flood in and choke me. My vision blurs and I see myself...

"Come here." I shake my head no. " I said, COME HERE!!! YOU LITTLE SLUT!!" I whimper. His face softens. " I'm sorry my little princess...my sweet, sexy little princess... come sit on my lap." I come over and sit. He lifts me up and lays me on the bed. " Good girl..."

"Stop!! No, please, I'm older now!! I-I know self-def-" he pushes me down into the floor, covers my mouth, and I bite him, but he just laughs and tells me to stop being such a bitch, he calls me a slut, and says, he knows I like it. I whimper, I feel so dirty, so used, like a dirty whore! Why, why is he doing this to me,what did I do to deserve this!! He pulls out a rope, the same role as before, I can see my blood on it from me clamping down so hard last time! He shoves down my pants and underwear and.."

I scream. And my brother runs in and finds me bent over cutting my wrists with my razor blade, and screaming, and pulling my hair out.
" Effy!!! Stop it, Effy!! He's not here!!" He pins down my arms and I freak, thinking it's him, and punch him. "Ow!! Effy!! Please, calm down, you're having a flashback!!" At that I freeze.. a flashback. Somehow the word flashback cuts through the nightmare and I  stop and dumbly repeat back the  word.."Flashback.." I look up at him, and repeat the word. "Flashback.."and giggle, and after I start giggling I can't stop, I can't stop and then I break down crying because I realise that this is my life, I try to repress the memories and they always come back stronger, more vivider, more realistic..like I'm reliving all over again. My brother just stares at me as I look around me humming softly, tears silently falling. He doesnt leave until he knows it's safe. He just sits there, staring off into space, holding my blade....

End of chapter 1!! What do you guys think?!
Do you think Effy was imagining everything or does her stepdad really have a thing for his broken, but fiesty new stepdaughter?!

Next chapter is coming very soon, I update almost every day also!!
Let me know if you have any  suggestions, that would really help me shape this book and the characters!!