"I....I feel trapped, like I'm inside a dark room and there is one window, a..and when I..I make it over to that window and I..I look outside, there's hope, h..happiness and uh.. Love. But then after a period of time my demons will Grab me by the shoulders and pull me back in. And I...I don't get why I cant stay at that window longer, or why there isn't more Windows. I'm..I'm scared."
"Scared of what Tyler? "
"My own brain"
"Why?"
"The brain is the most deadly weapon on earth. It decides people's lives. Just think. That person you randomly pass on the street, you can...kill them" I click my fingers "just like that, a...and your brain is the thing that decides the fate of that person, it decides the fate of you. A...and that's scary to me." I look down. My hand intertwined with the other, fingers moving up and down, one foot tapping a random, yet rhythmic beat. I look back up at my school counsellor, I can see through her, her face says that she's caring, that she understands, that she loves me, she puts on a "smile". But her eyes say otherwise. They show more sorrow than anything, confusion, failure, she doesn't understand my words. Her green eyes glisten the sorrow out, faintly shining it on to me.
"Well, Tyler, that is very interesting indeed ." Oh the lies. The continuous lies, when will it end? The ' I understand' or the 'very interesting', or the fake smile. When will it end? When will somebody finally understand me?
" that was a very good session Tyler, I shall see you next week. Sweet?" She asks me, standing up and holding a bowl of sweets in front of my face.
"No." I say firmly. A sweet? What is that supposed to do? Are my taste buds supposed to distract me from my problems?
" good bye ms. Kilik "
