Words n' shit

Firsts

As the cheesy hopeless romantic that I am, I think firsts are important to remember in a relationship. The first time you hold hands. The first date, the first kiss, the first I love you, the first time you make love.

I can remember the first time my hand slipped into his. It felt perfect there. The way our fingers fit together like puzzle pieces gave me a spark. The spark shot through my fingertips, the rest of my body and right to my heart. My heart beat got faster and my laugh became nervous. The spark made me know I had feelings for him.

Our first date was just a high school foot ball game. Our small town offers nothing else moderately cheap. We sat awkwardly high up in the bleachers. We didn't even watch the game, we goofed off and talked with each other. I got to know him so much. After the game we walked to where the car was waiting in the dark. It was a cloudy night and we were so cold, we huddled together awkwardly. I remember he said " I want to use this one cheesy pick up line but I'm not sure if you'd be okay with it." I laughed and let him know it was okay. Then he kissed me. It was short but soft and I felt that spark again stronger and warmer this time. I knew I had fallen hard.

The night I fell in love with him was on Halloween. Him and I went to a haunted house, I was terrified. My heart raced but I wasn't sure if it was because how tightly he held my hand or the clowns jumping out at me. I don't know if it was the added adrenaline or the hours spent walking around in the dark after the haunted house led me to fall completely in love. I was falling slowly over time but that night I knew. We made out behind a movie theatre and spent time just enjoying each other's company. I was staring his eyes and that's when knew then that I loved him. I had fallen for him harder than I had ever for anyone else. When we had to part that night it seemed harder than ever. I had wanted to say I love you but I was afraid.

The next day when I met him for lunch I was reading. I happened to be reading a chapter about love. He looked over my shoulder and skimmed a few of the words. I pointed to the phrase " I love you" and then looked at him wanting to say it but to nervous to do so. I was so anxious, afraid of rejection. My hands got clammy and my heart was pounding against my rib cage. He didn't say anything back. He only smiled and kissed me. I knew he was saying it then.

I'm so happy to give you my firsts.