Painful Memories

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When I moved away for college, I didn't expect to be in New York. I thought about staying in state, going to Stanford like my parents. But when NYU offered me a scholarship I had to take it. My grandparents heard about me going to NYU and offered to rent a townhouse for me.

I was grateful but all first year students were required to stay in the dorms. The boys were also accepted so they were going to be rooming together. I was left to fend for myself since I was the only girl of our little group. That was until Erica was accepted into NYU.

Most of our pack was heading off to NYU and Columbia. Isaac was rooming with Boyd. Lydia was going to MIT because of her supreme genius. Allison was rooming with Sophia since they had gotten closer over the few years. Turns out she was descended from a line of witches.

Our first semester went well and we all returned home for christmas. My dad flew back to New York to watch the ball drop with us. The second semester started off well and a friend from the first semester.

James Crane, a third year student at NYU, asked me out. It turned out he was pretty great. He was with me in my dorm one night after we had fallen asleep after watching a movie marathon. I heard the knock at the door since I had my super hearing but James got up to answer the door.
I could hear the conversation from my bed. "Can I help you?" James asked.

"I was told this is Emilia's room." Derek's voice was gruff and sounded like he hadn't used it in a long time.

"This is. But what are you doing here at two in the morning?" James was still sleepy and confused.

"Emilia is an old friend." I sat up and my gaze connected with Derek's. When I stood up my shirt fell back down to my waist and the flannel sleep pants my dad gave me for winter fell back to my ankles. When I moved across the cold floor I was glad that my body temp was high due to being a were.

"What are you doing here Derek?" I could feel my heart beating harder in my chest, my automatic reaction to him.

"Scott and Stiles told me this was your room."

"And that means you come here? You left. You ran away and then didn't even call." I was still angry at him. Shortly after our graduation he took off. He left a note to me in his loft to tell me that he needed time to heal.

"I needed time." I could feel the anger rising. James was looking at both of us like a ping pong match.

"What is going on here?" James gave me a very confused look.

"Nothing to concern yourself with. James let's go back to sleep and Derek here can go away." I shut the door in his face and put my face in my hands.

"So who was that?" James turned to me as I moved back to my bed. I was very glad Erica was spending the night with Boyd.

"That was Derek. He was a friend in high school."

"And what did he do to make you that mad?"

"That is a long story. I really don't feel like talking about it. Can we please just go back to bed and forget about this?" James held out his hands and sighed.

"If we are going to have a relationship you need to talk to me." He really was a sweet guy.

"I had a crush on him in high school but he is older and had already graduated. He was part of the friend group and was always around. When I finally turned 18 he kissed me then ran away. He had some bad memories in our hometown. So he needed to get out to heal and such." That was about as close as I could get to the real story without him knowing about my inner monsters.

"So you feel a bit jilted." That was about as close as he could get.

"I am still pretty angry." I sat on my bed and curled up near my pillows. I held my locket with my right hand and I could feel my heart break again. I should of been used to the feeling over the years. My mate relationship was nothing but rocky.

I spoke softly so I knew only Derek could hear me. "Not now. Try later." James sat beside me and held me. I could sense the wrong feeling creeping along my skin. My wolf telling me that this wasn't my mate.

The next day I was on my lunch break when Scott found me. "Did you see Derek last night?" He was being very sheepish.

"What made you think that it would be smart to send my mate who broke my heart to my dorm door at ass o-clock in the morning?"

Scott sat on the chair on the other side of the table. "I was hoping he would at least wait until morning." Lots of students roamed around the cafeteria. They carried their trays with plates of food. I was picking at my pasta on my plate.

"Well obviously he did not. By the way, James was over."

"Shit." He winced. "I forgot that you had him over for a date." I sighed.

"What were you doing when Derek found you?"

"Stiles was helping me with my chem homework. I really hate gen-eds." Stiles graduated as Salutatorian while Lydia was Valedictorian. He was aiming to get a degree in criminal psychology and move back home to work with his dad.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. So I was taking a lot of gen-eds. The only thing that held my interest was wolves and the legends that we had been using to fend off various monsters. I might just live off my trust fund.

I took a deep breath and with a certain scent I was turning around. I saw Derek about ten feet away standing by the front door. "Give me a minute." I knew he would hear me across the room and over the noise. I gave Scott a look to let him know I would talk to him later.

I took care of my plate and walked over to the door. Swinging my jacket on, I walked outside with Derek. I could feel my wolf trying to nudge me closer to him.

"I am sorry that I ran away. I needed space to heal and fix myself. I am also very aware that is no excuse. The entire time my wolf was angry with me and just wanted you back."

"You try to be a good person and let someone have their space, but your inner monster hates you. If you listen to your wolf, then you become a horrible human." We sat down on a bench that was situated beside the pathway. I felt Derek take my hand.

"You are 18 now. I have lost an excuse to push you away. And now, I have been seeing a therapist. Deaton helped me find one that knew about this world so I could be as open and possible. He has been helping me a lot.

"So I am here because I want to try. Being near you has finally giving me some peace, both inside my heart and my mind. So please give me a chance Emilia. Please let me prove that I can be the mate you deserve."

I smiled and felt my heart jump. "But you have been a nomad for about 8 months."

"I can find a place here in New York. Then go back to my loft when you go home. I know that is a lot of pressure to put on you but I am willing to work with whatever you will give me."

I was beyond thrilled. There was definitely still some things we still needed to work on but he was willing to work on things with me. The happiness deflated out of me when I remembered James. "Shit, I am dating James."

Derek deflated. "I don't want to force you into anything." He started to stand and I pulled on his hand with werewolf strength to keep him in his seat.

"You are forcing me into nothing. I just need to talk to James before we can do anything. How about you give me your phone number and I can let you know when we can finally have that first date?"

"Sounds like a plan Beautiful." His grin was so huge it could have split his face.

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