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"We are gathered here for the funeral of Cameron Joshua Smith"
I look around. Sea of blackness. It's the funeral of Cameron today.
Flashback
"Today." i murmured to Harry as we woke up.
We have been out of the hospital about a week ago.
Sarah and Angel have been going to therapy to get over what happened.
They have been doing good so far. Angel is still having nightmares and stuff but she's getting there.
Louis has been helping her a lot. As of the others they have been helping with Sarah. Little by little we are getting their.
" i don't think i can go.." harry murmurs.
"What why..?" i look up at him as i shit to my other side.
"I.. I killed him. He is their because of me." he mumbles as he looks away.
"Hey this isn't your fault. I have told you multiple times" i sigh.
"But-"
"No harry. I need you there . I need you there with me by my side please. That's all i need right now. I need you" i say almost begging him.
"I know baby i know. I.. okay i'll go. Sarah is staying here though ok?"
"Of course thank you so much i love you"
I cuddle closer to him.
"I love you" he kissed my head and sighs.
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"He was a brother, son, boyfriend, best friend-" no. i couldn't stop the tears that were freely falling. As much as i hate to admit it i'm gonna miss him.
"May you rest in peace Cameron Joshua Andrews" and they started lowering him. Something told me to run towards him.
"NO! Cameron!" i scream running out of harry's grip.
"PLEASE NO" i bed screaming as Liam holds my figure back.
"CAM" i beg. My mother sobbing in Robin's arms.
"Cameron" i cry as he is fully lowered and he is getting buried.
Once it's all covered i kneel down in tears. Not controlling my sobs.
After 10 minutes someone kneels down beside me.
Ashley.
"Hey babe we need to head home. Do you want to stay?"
"No lemme just say bye" i beg my voice raspy.
She nods sending me a sympathetically smile.
"Goodbye cameron. I will miss you" and i stood up.
Looking for Harry.
"Where is he?" i asked looking around.
"We don't know. He ran off as soon as you started sobbing" niall answered me looking at me almost in fear scared i will cry again.
"What?"
"Yeah. Once we turned around he was gone. He left the car though." Nicky whispers.
"No no no no no" i speak walking back and forth.
"Hey hey please calm down-"
"NO i won't calm down. My dead brother is 6 feet underground. And the love of my life disappeared and i don't know where he is" i cry frustrated.
"Let's go home okay. You have to rest whether you like it or not." liam says sternly.
"Now."
I nod knowing i won't win.
I walk to liam's car and he drives off.
My head is spinning and i can't process anything.
I want him back. I want harry back here with me.
~*~
I woke up with the feeling of someone moving my hair out of my face.
I stir a bit and i open my eyes.
I was met by a pair of green eyes.
"Harry" i breathe out.
"Where were you?!" i screamed as i smacked his side. Repeatedly.
"baby , baby! HAYLEE!" he screams grabbing my hands and setting me down.
He holds me as i sob on his chest.
"You left me i was scared. I needed you. I was worried. I wanted you here with me." i broke down.
He looked down at me upset. Almost like he wanted to cry with me.
"I couldn't take it. Seeing you cry like that in front of me broke my heart into millions of pieces. Seeing you sobbing breaking on your knees. It was terrifying. And it was all because of me. It was my fault." he cried. He blamed himself. Of course he did. Harry is like that he hates people he loves hurting and when they're hurting he thinks it's his fault. He blames it all on himself when it isn't his fault. When he shouldn't be blaming himself. Because just like him it breaks my heart.
"Harry this isn't your fault love. You were protecting me. Harry you saved my life. You can't and shouldn't be blaming himself for something you did because of protection. Harry i know how you get when you think this way. You think i hate you. You think you let me down. You think i don't love you anymore. You think so many negative thoughts. And guess what? It breaks my heart just as much baby" i breathe out. I'm gonna make him understand. I have to.
"Harry i don't hate you. I never ever will. And i never did yo-"
"God dammit yes you did! What about when i beat you? HUH? You can't tell me you never hated me. That is a lie and you know it damn well" he said mad. Not made at me. But mad at himself. Mad at his actions.
"No," i whispered. "I didn't hate you. I said i did. I tried to convince myself i did. But my god i have been in love with you since i saw you. I have always been madly in love with you harold edward styles. And i always will be can't you see that?" i begged desperately. "I'm trying so hard for you to believe me. Why are you not believing me? Baby i love you i really do" i whispered
He sighed as he looked at me. I can see the tiredness in his eyes. "Of course i believe you. And i'm in love with you just as much. It's just i killed your brother..and you don't know how sorry i am" he rubbed his temple.
"Stop that. There's no need to be sorry. Now let's get some rest. Sarah in bed?" i whispered quietly.
He nodded tiredly as he scooted under the covers and he curled into a ball. Ah he is so tall and masculine yet i love when he wants to be the one to be held. And i love holding him. I run my fingers through his short hair. Soon i hear his soft quiet snores. He is asleep.
