Missing you comes in waves
But tonight I feel like I'm drowning
I feel like every time I'm close to the surface
I get one extra stone tied to my feet
So why do I miss you so much
Why put myself through that
Again actually
I loved you once before
And it got me nowhere
Nowhere I wanted to be
Because I knew I was screwed
Once we were talking
My mind took me all over
Bringing back every memory of us
From good
To bad
To holy freaking shit horrible
Why put myself through those again
Those horrible, painful, meaningless
Memories
Why suffer?
Seriously why put myself through hell again
All for someone who doesn't even love me
Who doesn't even love me like I love them
Why??
What did I ever do
To make you see I wasn't worth it
That I wasn't good enough
For myself
My parents
My friends
Or..... You
Every time I hit that red end call button
I feel like there was so much more I needed to say
But the words just wouldn't come out
Come out the way I wanted them to
To make you happy
Or to keep you smiling
I feel like I'm drowning again
And going back into my shell
