/ˈloiəltē/

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Adjective;
giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution. I hear it come out of your mouth brushing your lips. "I would never do that." You smile but the happiness you try to use as a temporary mask doesnt reach your eyes. The words hitting me like a needle. I can't see where the new needle that had been peirced into my flesh for it's camoflaged with the rest of my collection. I treasure my lies, the false hope has become comfortable. The words from your mouth are precious, they are wasted on me.
I walk the needles sting but it helps numb the pain of my thoughts. Pain is enjoyable. The slashes on my wrists are no exception to that, nor is my thighs. But what hurts worse is I cant look you In the face. All I see is a lie. You say your sorry with the tear that look as if an angel had shed the pure tears but all I see is blood, darkness. I see it ooze out of you as if the devil himself wanted to give me a proper greeting in his true form. I can't stand it anymore. Why speak the truth when you can easily fabracate a lie from the bones and have structure of some story or alibi.
I blink to see its all my imagination, a memory even. I hear someone muttering as if saying something under there breath. "Are you ok?" I look up to see you standing in front of me. I want to vomit from anger and being anxious. "I'm fine." I watch as my lie stick into you belonging with all the rest. There I fall into darkness. I hope I get to meet alice somewhere deep in this rabbit hole.
This is a story to bring the darkness out of you. But if your like me, I'm already a monster. But no one is born a beast they are build as one. -"you said you weren't gonna tell anybody right? If you do, I will have to break your arms and legs little girl. Now lets have some fun." I can feel my world shatter. All I see is you the thing with no heart or soul walk behind me making sure your prey makes no sudden movements.

I am nothing, so its easy to spend   Everything when you have nothing. I wish the part of me who is in pain and creates problems disappers - you control me - I cry because of you. I am in pain because of you. I will cut this out of me, letting the blood be a reminder to myself you dont know where I am.

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