Chapter 1

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Life isn't easy and I'm gonna tell you about my life. So at the end of 8th grade I found out I was moving all the way to Texas. Then I moved to Texas and started going to Lamar and that school was to dangerous for me to be in.

So after freshman year I started school at George Bush high school and I was fine there I met my best friend and a few other friends.
I also started dating my current boyfriend darren.

Then the summer of 10th grade rolled around and I was manipulated into having sex with a senior so I went through that and then eventually it got to much.
He said we were friends with benefits and it was to be kept a secret which I did.
It finally go to much for me to handle I could no longer hide it but I continued to hide it.
My mom later catch us and my life went crumbling.
I thought it was all over but I started self harming and getting more and more depressed
I didn't see the purpose in living and I wanted to cut myself so bad.
My closest friends found out and took my to the counselors and she called a guy from the mental institution.
Where he interviewed me and rated me highly suicidual  that day I was sent to a mental hospital.
I was there for two weeks
Everybody thought I was better and I was for a few.
But then I started cutting again
I couldn't take it anymore
I am trying to do better
I moved schools again and i feel lost and different and I don't feel the same
I have had thoughts of doing it again but I can't after the last thing my best friend did
Last time she found I she made me lie my arms face down and imagine I was in a coffin and I could see there reactions and I saw horrible reactions then she told me to turn my arms over so i would see it.
It ruined me and I haven't relapsed in a month
I have wanted to so badly and it is so hard to fight especially when everybody thinks your better
I am trying to do better I really am but it's hard
You mainly just have to find friends who would be there for you and that would be my best friend shay and my other best friend Sam
Me and Sam currently started watching 13 reasons why and I got very emotional with it
Then there is shay she has been there since the beginning of 10th and has been there through the ups and downs and all of ours fights when she could have left.
Love you Shay and Sam
Guys all I need right now is prayers

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