Victim

Part III: Trust

“Take a shower, put clothes on, eat breakfast, brush my hair, brush my teeth, use perfume, and get into the car,” I repeated so I wouldn’t forget anything. Warm water poured out of the shower head and soothed me. I sang in my awful, morning voice one of my favorite songs which is “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele.

“We could’ve had it all.

Rolling in the deep.

You had my heart and soul.

And you played it, to the beat.”

I got out of the shower and dried off. I put on my favorite pair of dark blue jeans and a blue t-shirt with my school name on it: Lakeview Middle School. I then ate some waffles with syrup which was a more than satisfying breakfast. The only bad part is that the syrup bottle had a sticky handle which is annoying at 6:00 in the morning.

“6:00 o’clock!” I panicked. I had to catch the bus in ten minutes. I grabbed some perfume that smelled like vanilla and a brush before brushing my teeth and heading out the door.

I waved and gave the “I love you” signal in American Sign Language to my mom as the bus pulled up to the end of my newly paved driveway. The number 359 was marked clearly on the side of the hideous bus. I walked slowly towards it wondering how school would be today. I boarded the bus and sat next to my best friend, Lyric, who always sat on the fourth seat to the right.

“Good morning, Vanessa,” Lyric greeted me.

“Good morning,” I said lazily. I never get enough sleep with all the nightmares I have.

“So are you going to ask Riley out today?” Lyric questioned. Riley is the one person I have had a crush on since third grade. He is pretty smart, attractive, and, unlike most guys, considerate. He is that one person that can hang out with all the cliques whether they are popular or not.

“No for the millionth time,” I whispered so as not to disturb the people that slept on the bus.

“Why not?” Lyric pressed. “I heard he likes you, but no one has told him that.”

“I just can’t. Deal with it. Conversation over,” I demanded a little harshly. She turned away to stare out the window apparently listening to me. I turned away from her as well. I impatiently awaited our arrival to school.      

“The bus pulled up to the curb, and the door flung open. I allowed everyone in the seats ahead of me to get off first, and then I followed. I entered the school realizing how bad it looked for a school that is only two years old. Graffiti covered the walls and desks in most classes, the floors were covered in shoe markings and dirt, and litter coated the outside area. Kids can be really irresponsible it seems. 

I talked in the hallway with my friends as I anticipated the bell to ring. Everyone chatted about their weekend. Except me.

"I got a perm and now my hair is amazing!" Lyric said cheerfully. 

"I got a new phone," one of my other friends said with enthusiasm. 

"So what did you do, Vanessa?" Lyric questioned realizing how silent I was being. 

The bell rang before I had a chance to speak. I was, indeed, saved by the bell. I headed to my first class waving bye to my friends. I walked into math class and noticed all the lame, math posters that covered the wall. I sat in my assigned seat. Next to Riley. I pulled out my books and a lead pencil to prepare for the assignments. Trying to clean my desk of eraser shavings, I accidentally swept my textbook off into the floor. Riley bent over to pick it up for me. Told you he is nice.

“Thanks,” I said truthfully. I noticed his haircut from over the weekend. He must’ve cut off about a centimeter because his hair was barely changed. It was still short like most guys.

“No problem,” he said with his charming voice. His incredible blue eyes met mine for an instant. “I have something to ask you,” he suddenly said in a nervous tone.

“What might that be?” I asked curiously. Was he about to ask me out? Or was he just going to ask for a pencil?

“I have had a crush on you since fourth grade. I can’t stand going home because I will miss you too much. Will you go out with me?” he almost pleaded.

How could I turn down that offer when he sounded so kind? I did for some reason though. I couldn’t go out with him. What if he would just hurt me like my dad? Maybe not in the same way, but what if he broke my heart? Through his actions, my dad taught me that people aren’t always who you think are.

“No, I just can’t,” I cried as I went out the door. I hated turning down such an amazing person and my crush. I headed to the bathroom to cry alone. The teacher apparently sent someone to check on me.

“Are you ok?” she asked sounding concerned.

“I feel sick,” I lied. “so I’m just going to call my mom and go home,” I finished in between sobs.

“I hope you feel better soon,” she said as she left the bathroom. I was alone again.

The opportunity I had been waiting for for years finally arrived, and I blew it. Could Riley ever forgive me for rejecting him?