Next time, not as bad

Chapter 1 - The stars

From the front seat I can hear Kyle and Kenton rapping to J.Cole. Next to me is Dominique. I'm lying on her shoulder now and it's raining outside. Winter break is over and soon my peace will be as well. "Are you guys hungry?" Kyle asks and turn around.
"Yes" me and Domi say at the same time. In a while both my brothers get out. "We'll be back now" Kyle says and both of them shut their doors. "You know Trey and I broke up" Dominique says. I straighten up from her and look at her. "Why would you do that?" I ask hopelesssly.
"I didn't do that. He came to me and said that he's not feeling us anymore and so I just said I feel the same" she snaps. Her voice breaks when she says anymore. Shame. "Come here" I say and rest her head on my shoulder. She covers her face as she cries. I'm used to doing this already, she crying over a boy and me not crying, because no boy would ever give me attention. Domi is my best friend. She and I did everything together, always. We both cried on the first day of school, both got our first bras, both fought our first fight with the same girl and got high together at the same time.

Kenton and Kyle come back with chicken wings and fries. Domi quickly wipes her tears away and then we drive home. I surgest she lies down on my shoulder but she refuses. "I'll cry more" she whispers. I just nod. I watch her as she leans forward against the window and watches the rain. "Weather to match my mood" she says and that almost makes me cry. I don't cry though, when one of us is weak the other has to be strong.

At my house me and Domi go outside and start rolling up. "You know I keep on choosing these guys that just break my heart" Domi says and stares away. "I hate this shit" she says. "If we're growing up, it could've atleast been fun."
"Don't worry love, in a few all our problems will be gone" I say and light up the blunt. I smoke the blunt a few times before passing it to Domi. Soon everything fades away and I'm lying on my back. I hear something but I'm not focused on that. I'm just thinking about Mommy. Soon after I realise the thing I'm hearing is Domi. She's saying, "Trey has such a nice smile."
"Forget about him. He don't love you."
She's silent for a long time then she says "I know."

I stare at the stars now. Bryan, Brooklyn and I used to stare at the stars everynight when we got high. Brooklyn loved the stars. She was always drawing them and she painted the stars on my ceiling as a birthday present. I loved it. Bryan was always rapping and trying to get people to listent to his mixtape. He wrote me a song for my birthday and I loved it. Now they're in heaven, all four of them; my family. It's so easy for me to cry now but I don't. I just stare into space. I would do anything to be with them now. I need to do anything, I need to do everything. "You know what I need to do now. I need to go around the world and do everything for them to come back" I say softly. "I need to go away from everyone and then they'll come back." This high feels comfortable and I don't wanna get low again. "Everybody get's high sometimes you know" I sing.

When me and Domi go back inside Kenton and Kyle are playing video games on the couch. Both of us are coming of our high now. On the table there's our fries and chicken wings. We start swallowing. "You girls wild, smoking the day before school starts" Kenton says.
"We gon' smoke till we choke" Domi yells with her mouth full. She's sitting next to me now by the kitchen counter. "You know we gon' get a lot of assignments tomorrow" Domi says.
"I know" I say. "But it's all good because we bout that education, then comes college graduation, I'mma study medication, babies can wait till later" I rhyme.
"Okay we lit" Kyle says and comes inside the kitchen for some water. Kenton and Kyle are my twin cousins and they come check up on me now and then. It's nice because it makes me feel not so alone sometimes in the house. Bryan and them used to be close but since Bryan isn't here now we're close. I always used to ask if I can go with them but Bryan called me annoying so I used stayed away. Daddy would then take me out for ice cream to not make me feel sad. It always helped.
"You need a lift tomorrow fam?" Kenton asks while he comes inside the kitchen. "No thanks" I say.
"You know it's raining and last time I checked you don't know how to drive."
"It's cool. Peter's coming to pick me up."
"Who's Peter?" Kyle asks and stands next to me. His elbows are on the counter. "A friend" I say.
"What friend?" Kyle asks. "Tell him you got enough friends." So overprotective. I just ignore him.