always || bws

Eight

           

TRIGGER WARNING

Bradley was having a good day today, having realised there is only one more week until he can go home, until he can see Wednesday but her on the other hand, she was having the worst day of her life.

Brad was smiling, singing, humming and laughing; flipping through pictures of the love of his life with a smile rather than with tears dripping from his eyes and sobs escaping his lips. Today he wasn't crying, today he was just like the old Brad. His friends were even happier, glad to have their best friend back but trying to get Brad to realise that it isn't for certain that Wednesday would want to get back with him, however he didn't listen. That was the only thought getting him through his life right now and he wasn't going to let anybody ruin it.

Wednesday was the worst she had ever been and she had been through the hell of depression and back but today there was only one thing on her mind and it wasn't Brad, like it usually was.

Today was different for the girl, today the world felt different. The grass wasn't green, the birds weren't chirping and the sky wasn't blue, something inside her knew today was the day. Instead nothing was in colour and the only thing she heard was the voices chanting in her head; you're worthless, you don't deserve love, no one has ever loved you, the world would be the same without you, no one would miss you, kill yourself.

That was what she had planned to do today, she was smiling and she was happy and was that happiness fake? No, not at all because she could finally escape all the pain, she would finally be happy. Brad would have made her happy, if she was still with him she wouldn't have thought this, she would still be fine and fine is better than suicidal.

She was beginning to write her note, well her two notes. One for her mother and the other for the love of her life, the person who made her want to live, the person who made everything seem perfect.

She made sure her writing was the neatest it had ever been, making sure there wasn't a single mistake and none of the tears that were falling from her eyes would land on the paper or she would rewrite the whole thing, this had to be perfect for her.

She finished the notes, taking the envelopes and labelling them, placing them on her bed where they are fully visible and no one would be able to miss them. She made sure they were a centre metre away from each other and perfectly straight. She had previously cleaned her room, not one thing crooked or dusty. Her wardrobe was arranged in colour order, her clothes in her chest of drawers were folded perfectly and her bed was made with not a single sheet with a crease in; you would think no one had slept in it before.

This was the first time she had felt happy, within the month and three weeks of Brad being practically non-existent to her. She wanted to say bye but she couldn't, he would instantly know what she was planning to do and would try and stop her but no one would be changing her mind anytime soon.

She walked with a skip in her step and went down the stairs, met with her mother. She smiled widely, the voices in her head getting louder and louder, getting more demanding and more aggressive and for some reason that made her even happier.

Her mother looked at her daughter in confusion but also she was pleased that her daughter, the person she loved more than life itself, was finally happy not knowing what was going on inside her precious daughters head and what she was doing to herself, what battle she was fighting with her own mind and body. Her mother had no idea of the deep scars on her arms that would never heal and she didn't know about the bottle of sleeping pills and razor sitting on her sink, perfectly placed waiting for her.

"Hi, mum." Wednesday cheerfully says, hugging her from behind.

Her mum chuckles and grabs her hands, melting into her daughters touch.

"Hello, Wednesday." She responds. "You're awfully happy today."

"Today is a good day."

"Did you and Brad sort everything out?" She hopefully questions, wanting nothing more than the two to be back together.

"No, but that's okay because he'll be happier without me." She says with no hesitance and a wide smile still taking over her face. "Anyways, I just wanted to say that I love you." She tells her mum and tightly squeezes her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"I love you too." Her mum smiles, bringing her daughter to her chest.

"Bye mummy." She whispered.

They pulled apart with one last squeeze and smile, her mum oblivious that would be the last conversation between the two. Wednesday skips back up the stairs and to her en suite.

She took her blade from her bathroom cabinet and fiddled with it between her fingers, it occasionally slashing the skin on her fingers but that only filled her with pure ecstasy. She took a deep breath before slicing it across her wrists, the blood making her smile and the demons inside her head cheer. Her head fell back in bliss yet hisses of pain left her mouth while her chest was heaving up and down and the droplets of blood fell onto the floor and for once she didn't have to worry about cleaning it up. The cuts filled her with pain but it gave her relief and she needed to feel pain before she would be in a land of forever happiness and one where pain wouldn't exist.

The blade dropped to the sink and she inspected her cuts with a dazed smile, already feeling light headed from how deep she cut, from how she cut through a vein. She was swaying from side to side and if anyone would have saw this they would have thought she was high but really she was welcoming death. She took the pills, pouring out a handful and popping them into her mouth, taking a cup and filling it with water. She takes one large gulp and the pills had disappeared down her throat, immediately taking action due to the large dosage she had just taken.

She fell to the floor, the glass falling to the floor and shattering, her body slowly going limp yet her smile never left her face and the monsters disappeared, they left her body just like her life was.

Wednesday was in the early stages of death and she was loving every moment of it.

remember i am always here for anyone who wants to talk, message me and i'll help you the best as i can and i won't ever judge you.

you can do this, you can defeat whatever battle your going through; i believe in you.