Crossfire

Prologue

"Did you not hear me?! I said leave!", his voice boomed. He was drinking again. He always got like this when he was drinking. He turned into a monster that nobody wanted to be around. "How can you be so selfish? Hobi is out there, passed out and 6ou won't even help him! Why do you have to do this?!" I could feel the tears threatening to slip out, but I would never let any of them see me cry. It'd be too embarrassing, I'd never get over it.

"I told you to leave! I don't give a fuck anymore!" He threw me back and my back hit the wall behind me. I wanted to punch him but I knew it wouldn't do any good. He was still the same no matter what. At least when he was drinking. He promised me he wouldn't drink anymore but he broke his promise, and now he was back to being a monster that hurt everybody.

2 years ago when I decided to run away from home with the boys, I never thought It'd be like this. I never thought all these awful things would happen. I never thought it through. People change. I question why I stay almost everyday. But when they look at me and smile, when we have fun and forget about the world, it feels like everything's going to be okay and nothing's wrong. But ignorance is bliss. I guess we were really stupid.

We never took into consideration how it would be living by ourselves. I was one of the youngest and I thought they'd take care of me, but I quickly realized it was every man for himself, or in my case, every woman. Jungkook was the youngest, then me, then Taehyung who we call V, then Jimin, then Hoseok who I mostly call Hobi but the rest call him Jhope, then Namjoon which I liked to call Joonie, then Yoongi who they call Suga, and finally our 'eomma' Seokjin but we all call him Jin.

I knew they all had their own problems outside of what they shared with us but I never thought it was this bad. I knew Hobi had narcolepsy but I never really considered that he actually really did pass out all the time. He has pills though, so that helps him, but sometimes he forgets to take them and then he falls asleep and it takes almost 3 of us to carry him.

The thing is, we don't really have a house of our own but we somehow find places to stay. We like secluded places that only we know about because it's like only we exist and we can do whatever we want. But not having a stable life and not knowing where we'll end up one day isn't very affirming. I miss my old life a lot but I could never leave the boys. I'd miss them too much. I love them honestly. They've been with me through everything. I've known the boys since I was like 5, and now I'm 22 so yeah, I've known them for a very long time.

Since we're all pretty close in age, we always were in close grades. I was always in the same grade as Jimin and V so I spent more time with those 2 but outside of school we would ask our parents for money, me always asking for a little extra because V's parents never gave him an money. We never really understood why until I was about 10 and could figure out his situation. His dad wasn't exactly the best in the sense that he would hurt V and his family. I always felt bad that he had to go home to them everyday so we would often let him spend the night at our houses.

Since Jin is the oldest, he was always a bit more experienced than the rest of us. I think he really knew how V lived which is why he always treated V with a lot of care. He was kind to the rest of us as well but especially to V.

Jin was always the one I went to when I needed help with something. One time, there were these boys who always picked on me in like 6th grade because I was a bit chubby until I turned I turned like 13, so Jin yelled at them, which kind of didn't work. Jin isn't exactly intimidating looking, so sometimes people don't take them seriously but it's the thought that counts. He ended up asking Jungkook to punch him in the face since Jungkook is younger and it would be less 'unfair' because Jin was older and taller.

The boys have actually fought a lot of battles for me. Metaphorically and literally. Most the time it's be either Jungkook or Jimin who would 'fight' people for me. Yoongi would just make them cry with hurtful words. Jin kind of stayed back after that time in 6th grade, he felt a little bad that he couldn't help more even though I think he did great.

I never had the greatest relationship with my parents. We would often get in arguments about stupid things and then I'd run off to see the boys. They always said I cared more about them than my own family. Which, maybe that's true. I don't know why I'm so attached to the boys but I am, I honestly can't live without them. My family always thought it was odd that I only ever hung out with the boys instead of girls but I didn't and still don't care. I love the boys more than anything.

I tried many times to make friends with girls or other people but they just didn't get me like the boys. They never shares the same interests or even anything similar. I was just too different from others. So I just decided that I would never leave the boys, and they promised to never leave me.

And it's true, they never left me and I never left them. We're so close in fact, that Jimin was my first kiss. It was when we were like 12 but it still counts. I ended up dating Jimin for a few months when we were 15 but it didn't last long, I really see him more as a brother and he sees me more as a sister really.

I did actually have a relationship with somebody else for like a year after Jimin and I broke up. It was just somebody at our school. I thought it was so amazing that I found somebody who liked me other than the boys so that's probably why I thought it was a good idea to date him. Yknow, don't let him go? Yeah, it was actually a bad idea.

Turns out, he just wanted, you guessed it, to get in my pants. And since I had never been in a relationship before, well, a real one, I thought that was normal. But I never told the boys about it, why would I? It's my personal business. Turns out I should've told them about it earlier. Because how they found out wasn't exactly ideal. I had bruises on my legs and my arms and they saw them and freaked out. Let's just say it didn't end well for that guy and they made me break up with him.

That was a good thing though. It's nice to know you have people who care about you. But that doesn't mean I don't have regrets about being with the boys. 

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ugh, this is probs so shit ngl :):